And I'm not really sure what to do I apologize ahead of time if this goes long (as I'm sure it will). I have 3 nephews, one of whom is 15. This particular nephew and I are very close. Extremely close, actually, as I would do absolutely anything for this boy. His Mother (my Sister), is a complete psycho bitch and no, I'm not exagerrating. She honestly needs mental help and as of tonight, our parents (despite the fact that she's in her 30's) are thinking about having her involuntarily committed if they can find a way to do it. J, my Sister, and I had a huge blowout today, which isn't related to this but does impact it. J has 3 kids, 16, 15 & 9. The 9yo, J, is a very spoiled child who gets whatever she wants, doesn't have to do anything and is very much babyied. The 16yo acts like he's 12 and drives the majority of the family up the wall. He seriously lacks social skills. But Z, the 15yo, is a very well mannered, normal teen. My Sister, however, tries to baby all 3 kids, then yells at the older two because they aren't "maturing" and behaving responsibly. Today, after the big blow out my Sister, myself and my parents had (my parents had it with her too), I was pretty sure that I wouldn't be seeing the kids any time soon. However, I had already made plans with Z to take him to dinner (Sushi which no one else in the family will take him for) as a birthday present, just him and I. I was pretty sure my Sister wouldn't let me take him, however, she did. And it was after dinner that he dropped this bombshell. He told me that he's been seeing his Guidance Counselor at school practically daily. He was once in the Giften Program and now is pulling in D's. He and his mom fight constantly, mostly because she tells him he's lazy, he's direspectful, he gives her too much grief, he doesn't pull his weight around the house (I asked my parents and they disagree, he's a VERY respectful and helpful kid). And then....he asked if he could come live with me. I'm married with a 4yo. I also live 3,000+ miles from the rest of the family due to the fact that my SO is in the Military. I have the room, I have the means, I have the desire. In the state that he lives in, at 13, you can state where you want to live. He's 15. He already doesn't talk to his father and now that things are extremely strained with his Mom, it's affecting him significantly. He's become withdrawn, his grades are dropping and I can see he's hurting. I told him he's welcome in my home, anytime, for any length of time, whenever he wants. Meaning, even if it's just for a week and it's 6 years from now, or 2 months from now indefinitly. I'm just not sure what to do. He's hurting and I feel that because he came to me, I have to do something. I discussed it with my parents (his Grandparents) and they told me that if he talks to his Mom and she tells him that he can't live with me, that if I decide to file for custody, that they would back me up. But if she denies him, is that really the right thing to do? Force it? I mean, it is what he wants, but do I dare go to these extremes? And if I do file for custody, how much will the fact that I live in another state, clear across the country and my Husband's being in the Military and our subsequence moving affect it all? Do I file in the state he's in, or do I file in the state I live? I'm just so confused right now as to how to go about things if she tells him no (as we're all pretty sure that she will). Does anyone have any suggestions? Update: My Sister found out and flipped lid, big time. Since then, she's taken him to the doctor, said these are all symptoms of his head injury from last year (Interestingly enough, no one even knows WHERE he got this last and most dangerous concusions. Hmmm, anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?). She had him call me up, her standing there with him, to have him apologize to me for putting me in the middle of all this, saying "I should have gone to my mom and talked with her about all the issues I was having", which just didn't sound like him. He sounded defeated. I told him that I was NOT angry with him, I was worried about him and that my offer still stood (after I asked if my Sister was standing right there, to which is applied in the affirmative). My Sister then relayed through him that she wants me to have no contact with them (her or the kids). Unfortunately, I just can't do that. I love all three of them too much. After a long conversation with my StepMom (my Sister's Bio-Mom, we're 1/2 Siblings tho my Sisters are older - long story) she told me how she had wanted to take me from my own Mother at age 8. But due to my Father's lack of motiviation in regards to this, she has to sit on her hands and do nothing until I came to them. I asked her if that meant she felt I should do nothing and she responded "No. I think you definitly need to help him. You need to take him". She reassured me that, should Z come to her and ask for her help in getting everything legally rolling to come live with me, she would do it. My Husband and I have decided we will NOT file for custody. Z is old enough in both states (WA where we live and PA where he lives) to legally be able to do this on his own. His Guidance Counselor (who said that moving with us would be good for him) can assist him in this is Z goes and asks for help. In PA, there's a couple of different ways he can do it. So due to his age, we're not filing for custody, but we are preparing ourselves for his arrival. I've also gotten some recommendations for Neurologists at the University of Washington that come highly recommended, as well as a couple at Children's Hospital of Seattle. I've gotten the names of a few Counselors as well, as Counseling is a requirement for him to live with us. He's been and is going through, a lot. I'm not qualified to help him sort through all of his issues. My Parents also plan on helping him, either by getting him into my custody, or keeping him in their home until he can come and live with me. But there's been no contact since the last phone call.