As some of you may know, I'm a recovering alcoholic. Today is my 90th day sober and I feel great living without alcohol, I used to live from bottle to bottle. However, my 21st birthday is coming up and I'm worried about a relapse.. In the back of my mind my alcoholism is gnawing away at me telling me to drink again once I turn 21. Not that it will change anything, but it will be the first time that I will be able to legally buy alcohol.. I used to have everyone buy for me and now that it is going to be so easy to get a hold of alcohol scares me. I've relapsed before and I recognize this as one of those pre-relapse thinking states, which is not good and I'm trying to get out of it but I don't know how.. AA meetings have always been great for me but I haven't been able to make it to my local group lately and I probably won't be able to be at meetings on my birthday.. I'd like to be at meetings but I'm currently on "medical house arrest" because I'm recovering from an infection that I was in the hospital with for the past few months; so basically the doctors don't want me leaving the house for quite some time.. I'm pretty much just venting but if anyone has been through relapses or has had to deal with the type of thing that is coming up for me (a 21st birthday being sober, and the new ability to buy alcohol whenever I want). EDIT- Can any Moderators move this to R2R?? Sorry, Maybe this should be in Road to Recovery instead because of the subject matter?