[You can skip to the bottom if you just want to read my question.] Background: I am a girl, mid twenties. I was in a relationship with a guy for about two years who is 6 years older than me. The relationship appeared average on the outside, but wasn't all that it could have been on the inside. I was unhappy - I didn't get the emotional support I needed, and my general feelings were that we weren't meant to be. There is nothing "wrong" with him, but the communication wasn't there, and necessary changes to the relationship didn't take place. Eventually, I called an end to the relationship because I felt we couldn't communicate. I wanted to live on my own and eventually see other people. He, of course, flipped. I realize that I probably failed to communicate just how bad things were to him. I did try, and I did say that we could work on things if he wanted to, but in the end it ended up getting nasty and I refused to try again. Words were said on both sides. Throughout this, he would send me nasty text messages and hurtful emails. I did my best to answer his questions as appropriate and ignore the rest, but I know that relationships take two to work and that the downfall wasn't completely my fault. It was too emotionally frustrating and it was hampering my job performance so I cut off all communication with him. He attempted to make things right by sending me flowers (which he'd never done in the entirety of our relationship) along with a box of Reese's Pieces which I love. Unfortunately, the gesture fell under the "too little too late" category, and I called him to explain that. I explained that I didn't want to have to become a complete basketcase for him to see that anything was even wrong, and that I shouldn't feel an utter and complete lack of emotional support. He freaked out again. By this point we'd moved into separate places and I'd found a good male friend at work who was going through the same thing with his girlfriend at the time (a whole other story in itself) and I was spending a good deal of time with him. I had known him for a while but hadn't known him beyond the acquaintance level until around the time of the breakup. At this point I should add that my ex has always had trust issues with any of my male friends, even those I'd known for years before himself. He's always acknowledged this, but hasn't taken steps to mitigate it. It didn't help that he thought he'd "stolen" me away from my previous boyfriend. So, of course, he suspected the worst and accused me of cheating on him with this guy. I'd had enough - I told him to believe whatever he wanted to believe since I obviously couldn't convince him of the truth. I should also add that one of the major factors in the breakup in the first place was that he was accusing me of cheating on him with other people, too, about once a month towards the end of the relationship. To set the story straight, I am not a flirt. I don't dress provocatively. I don't have much of a life outside of work - I tend to stay at home. I don't have many friends, but the ones I do have are mostly male due to me being a computer geek. At the time, the only people I really hung out with I would hang out with in his company as well. So he doesn't have a real basis for this claim other than the fact that I am close with the few friends I have. A few months after all this, he left the country to start work for a company, so the chances of running into him were thankfully slim. I haven't heard from him since, but he's badgered our mutual friends when he's heard I've hung out with them. He tells them not to hang out with me. I've lost a lot of friends in the whole ordeal, but I figure if they aren't "man" enough to be my friend, I don't need them in my life. There are some who have told him that they'll do what they want and it's not his place to say they can't. I started dating the male friend about a month or 6 weeks after that. We discussed everything from how it would affect our friendship to whether either of us was rebounding before even agreeing to start a relationship. We decided to try it and if things didn't feel right we'd re-evaluate. Well, it's still working and better than ever after a year and a half of dating, and we both think we've made the right choice. It "feels right" and all the communication is there. I've also made a lot of personal changes - my self-esteem is much higher, for one - and I'm starting to feel good about myself for the first time since before my parents divorced when I was 10. *** And now, on to the question. More than a year and a half after the fact, my ex is still as bitter as the day we broke up. I hear from his brother that he hates me, which doesn't surprise me. Is this a normal thing for a guy to go through? I wouldn't want to let my life be consumed by an ex. I've been dumped before - I grieved, then moved on. I'm more afraid for my personal safety than anything... I mean, if a guy can bottle up that hate for so long, there might be no limit to the lengths he would go to to "get back" at me. I'm wondering whether to consider moving (I live in the same place as where I moved to after we broke up, and my boyfriend has just moved in with me recently). I'm basically trying to understand his side of the story. I can understand why he would be hurt, and even accept that he won't believe what I say, even though it's true. I'd actually just like to see him find a girl who understands him and be happy with himself and his life. He's not a bad guy by any means, although perhaps emotionally immature.