SRS A second try

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by teh_fuzz, Aug 3, 2008.

  1. teh_fuzz

    teh_fuzz New Member

    May 23, 2008
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    So after 3 months of being apart, My wife and I have decided to try and resolve our issues out with the help of couple's counseling. The place I work for has an employee assistance program and they have set us up with our first appointment together on Tuesday.

    Needless to say I am thrilled about this, but I am also scared of what this will bring out of both of us... wever been staying together for the last month and it has been awesome. However I have a certain feeling of uncertainty about this. Not because I dont love her, I married the woman but more along the lines of not wanting to go through the mess we went through again.

    She is the one that came to me and decided it was time we worked things out, I want it as well dont get me wrong but it was a decision she had to make as she was the one that asked for the separation/divorce.

    Tonight, I want to sit down and address a few issues before we go into the counseling. money matters were a big part of the problem as well as communication. she is aware of too and we pretty much have the same ideas on what we need to work, I know the counseling is supposed to help on this but I just want to lay down some ground work so that if there are any problems with our expectations of each other we can address them with the counselor.

    another thing I want to address is in the time we were separated, she got close to another co worker of hers, according to her it never went more than going out for drinks with a fe other co workers, which is not out of the norm, the thing is that for years I have had the feeling this dude was after her, and low and behold when we separated he tries to move in, knowing that my wife and I are tryign to work our problems out, and having numerous times denied to me the fact that he had no interest on my wife. This may seem petty bullshit but once you loose trust on someone it is VERY hard to get it back... I want to ask her if anything else went on, because it has always been the case I always end up finding out anything and everything she has tried to keep from me, but nothing has been as serious as this... I would really hate for us to try and work things, only to find out something else went on and that she hid it from me, that would def. be where I draw my line.

    ** Our separation was on accordance to0 the both of us that she needed time to think about what was going on in her head, about what she wanted, she swore to me that she would not sleep with anyone until she made up her mind and the divorce was a definite go, so in my eyes our separation was just time apart, not free range on dating/seeing other people... ;lease keep in mind this is something we both agreed on**

    Should i bring this last issue up? should i just let the time apart be that... time apart? sort of like hear no evil, see no evil... type of thing?

    Is it a good idea? I as happy as the day my first daughter was born, but Im more scared of failing at this once again.
  2. Traker82

    Traker82 New Member

    Jan 10, 2008
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    I think you should bring it up simply because you want to. If you don't ask her now it will eat at you until you do. Your fear was in her with another man, you need to know this like she knew she need time apart.

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