SRS Addicted to Solpadol & Depression.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ChrisOT, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. ChrisOT

    ChrisOT New Member

    Jul 23, 2004
    Likes Received:
    0 and I'm on the 1000/60 a time dose.

    First the drugs

    I am a 24 year old male.
    This may be a bit of a incoherent rant, but I just need to get this all out.

    So I've been having bouts of pain for the past 3 years or so which have become a lot worse recently (October Last year) in which I had some X-Rays done and it's appears that I have two fused vertebrae.

    However I've been told this should not be causing me pain and is something that I've have since birth, but the pain still exists.

    I've been suffering from neck/shoulder/back and lumbar pains for a long time now, as well as a lethargic feeling in my legs, bowel problems and sharp pains in my chest which more recently points towards pericardium problems.

    I've been having the chest pains since I was 13 and it has never been resolved, I have seen 3 GP's about it and one "so called" specialist who in the end thought it was all in my head, I was young then so I really did not stand up for myself.

    Same goes for the back problems but only the past 3 years, same doctors (General Practitioners) who don't really seem to try much.

    The short of the story is that since October I've been given Solpadol to help with the pain and have been taking them since.

    At first I took them as instructed by the Doctor which was the same on the packaging, it helped with the pain, great I thought.

    Then a few weeks later I started noticing a high from taking the pills, which to be blunt was nice. As time went on I find myself taking them to help through work, not just the pain but to get that high, but it only lasts for about 2hours and have to wait another 2 before taking them again.

    For example going to work in the morning, feeling down and shitty about things I'd take them to perk me up a bit and I won't lie, it's fucking great and helps me get one with my job (accounts work).

    The last few months I've lowered the dosage to whenever it gets bad which means sometimes I don't take them for a week, no withdrawal symptoms noticed.

    I became concerned and thought I can't keep taking this for the rest of my life, this must be damaging my liver. I called my Family Doctor and mentioned my concerns but was told not to worry and keep taking them for the time being.

    I sit here now with two tablets left and no prescription to get more (I can get more if I ask) and I think to myself, I don't /need/ them but it makes things so much easier to deal with, the pain and mentally, I make me feel better too. Euphoria is the word.

    A few weeks ago I started looking for alternative options, for the pure fact if I don't try them I will never know if it would have helped or not. I went to see a chiropractor.
    So far there's not been much of an improvement but the headaches have lifted up a bit, like some pressure had been released. I'm going to go for a full run of a course and if that does not work, give that up. At least I tried?

    But I'm stuck on what to do, no doctors I see seem to really care that much and I've been given the easy way out for them. "Take these pills and get on with your life". I don't think this is the right way.

    What would you do;
    Keep trying other doctors?

    Or is what they are telling me the brutal truth, they don't know where the pain stems from, what's causing all these problems so just deal with it and take this medication until..when, they stop working and I need stronger ones? For the rest of my life? There's still pain... just not as bad.

    Secondly, the Depression

    I need to say I have not been diagnosed with depression but in the past I had a few trials of drugs which did not help at all. Then I got myself into a good place where I thought, there's people worse out there so, quit whinging and get on with your life. So I did.

    But recently it's all been so much.

    With my physical problems, pains and unanswered questions, I seem to have so much going wrong with my body that nobody else I've known in my life has and then my mental integrity.

    My mother died nearly 3 years ago now, it's one of those... did not hit me much at first but I still gets me sometimes. Not really been that lucky with the girls, my first relationship was abusive. Physically and mentally, the second isn't worth mentioning.

    I spent a lot of saved money on a car I've always wanted which turned out to be a nightmare with time and money, I was conned basically which was just another problem.

    Now just last week I found out I'm being made redundant, as well as being in a lot of debt I don't know how I am managing to stay together.

    My brother is off traveling and my father is quite Ill, he's got hip problems which causes him to get overweight, with his own depression, losing his wife, it's something which can't be helped anymore, he can't excercise or barely walk to lose weight so he can have an operation.

    So anything that requires going out, I need to do for him.
    I live at home with him because simply, I couldn't afford to live by myself in a two bedroom apt with a girlfriend who never got a job and he won't be able to cope by himself and I need to look after my father after all he has done for me.

    It's all adding up, no gf, losing job, in debt and no money, health problems.
    I think I have deluded myself into thinking it's going to work out but it isn't.

    On Wednesday I speak to my bank to talk about my investments, I've probably lost all that money too..I hope not, that will make things even worse.

    This goes back to the pills, they make me able to cope better but, they can't be healthy at all, I know if I stop them I will feel worse.

    I'm unable to get anywhere with the doctors here either, I feel like I need to go crazy and tear stuff up or cry like a baby for them to be able to see how much it hurts inside but, I just can't cry like that nor will I just go crazy like that. I'm not putting on a show for them so they can take me seriously.

    I've tried to explain this to my doctor many times and the last time and he simply said there's nothing to do and I refused to pay his "consultancy" charge that last day. I'm tired of going each time to try and get some sort of response from him to do something just to go home with nothing but giving him money, so I don't go any more for that reason.

    What do I do?

    I'm lucky I have a place to sleep and eat, but I can't just live on that.
    I expect the next month or so to be jobless, sitting at home looking for a job feeling sorry for myself. I even expect it to happen for months more like last time this happened... finding a job was hard for me.

    Oh well, I've said what I needed to say and maybe it's just a fact of life here that, it sucks and I just have to deal with it. Other people get lucky with doctors that listen I suppose?
  2. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

    Mar 19, 2005
    Likes Received:
    this toilet earth
    I don't know where to start-you sir have a lot of things going on! It sounds like some of this stress is actually appropriate.

    As for the pills, well, your taking painkillers to avoid reality, and that can be a slippery slope for some people. I would talk to a doctor about that. Maybe you are finding some relief from depression with the wrong kind of medication, and there is a better, non habit forming option for you.

    You don't need to go nuts to get some help. That was my biggest fear too, I felt like I was literally dead inside but figured i'd have to hurt myself or someone else or run through walmart naked or something insane like that to get some help. Turns out i didn't. I wasn't insane, and I was trying to stay that way. The first time I went to a doctor, I had a friend go with me, and it really helped.

    If it was me (and, when it IS me!) I would go talk to a therapist about where to start with all this stuff. Taking on too much at once can be a burden, but I see no harm in hiring someone who does this stuff for a living to help me figure out what my duty is as far as settling my mind down. Asking for help is hard, but it's better than standing at the top of that high dive with all the other kids staring at you ;)

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