Okay, here is the situation. I'll try to keep it short and sweet. I was dating this girl "R," for 1.5 years. I started dating her about 5 months after I had ended a previous 1.5 year relationship. Me and "R" didn't have much in common, but we got along, and we lived next to each other in the dorms, so we saw a lot of each other. I got used to having her around, so at the end of the semester, I asked her out. The relationship continued along, and things were fine. Just fine, nothing special or spectacular. I consider myself a fairly interested and intellectual person, and not that she was against this, but I couldn't connect to her on any meaningful level along these lines, and that always bothered me. Nonetheless, she was cute and kind and friendly, the sex was good, so we kept going. Two months ago I went on a trip to Israel where I met another girl, "K" who seems to be everything that I want in a girl. Very attractive, and willing to go beneath the surface and just be more involved and interested in life and reality than R ever could be. She is genuinely curious, likes to learn, is funny, etc. Everything I've always told myself I've wanted. I end up cheating on R. When I get back home, I promise myself to never tell her, because I don't want to crush her. I figure I would be able to deal with the guilt. Apparently, I couldn't. One night I had a panic attack and simply I had to tell her. I did, and then I left her. She still wants to be with me, despite the fact I cheated on her. I started hanging out with K more, although she lives ~3 hours away, we've been finding ways to make it work. However, when I visited her this past weekend at her place, things felt a little weird. I simply can't handle intimacy right now. Emotional intimacy and being close to someone and just being in that "couple frame" makes me feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Kissing constantly, spending hours lounging and doing nothing in her room, etc., I just can't do it. But since K is cool, and can deal with honesty, I told her exactly what I was feeling. Now she says she feels self-conscious around me, and to be honest, I feel strange talking to her now. She really likes me, and I really like her, but something feels very wrong. I don't know where the unease is coming from, but I think it's from the simple fact that I didn't really give myself any time between these two girls. Also: Me and K, right after the Israel trip, were still coming off our "high" of meeting each other and booked a road trip for May. Now, things are just weird, and the whole looming prospect of the non-refundable trip adds to the confusion. I don't know if I just want things to work out so I don't waste all my money on airfare, etc. Sometimes I still think about R, and I miss her, but I think that's simply because I'm used to her, and I'm at an unstable point right now, so I naturally look for security. I don't know where I should go from this point. I don't even have a question to ask you guys, I'd just love to hear some third party perspective. Thanks.