i caught the bf consorting to cheat on me and i don't know how to take it. so earlier last week he spent hours and hours on the comp the other day writing a story (he writes often), but i thought it was funny that he was writing it in gmail, and not word as he usually does. i asked if i could read it and he said no and kept changing the screen anytime i went by. a few days later i noticed he left himself logged into gmail before he left to work and so i took a peek to find his story. well, it turned out it was a really hot fantasy story between him and this daddy type, but it was also sent to a guy with the same name as the guy in the story..hmmmm. The things my bf was doing to this guy in the story was things he's never done with me. things i've wanted him to do to me. things he got all bashful from when i tried them. so I decided to search emails for this guys name. A chat log came up from last thursday in with this guy, a really long one. and basically my bf portrayed our relationship as open but don't ask/don't tell..which is quite the opposite of what i thought our agreement was. he also explained that he's already been with one other guy, and that i've been with three (not true! not even one!). and then my bf went on to try to set a date and time they can act out this fantasy. the guy played it off like it was just harmless fun but then my bf persisted that they should really try sometime. the rest is just more stuff that makes me sad. so, anyways i confronted him about it. he says he must have misunderstood when i said i wanted a closed relationship for a don't ask/don't tell type hsugh. and when i asked about the guy he did cheat with, he says he was referring to the time we brought someone home together, which doesn't make sense because that's not cheating and we've brought somebody home 2 other times besides that. so his explanation is...he's embarassed about his fantasies (which was a little out there...but i liked it) and he can't play them out with people who know him well, only with strangers. I believe him, and i believe he loves me but this is really hard for me to take openly. i love him so much and i don't want to leave him because we get along so amazingly well, i just wish he could have been open about this, like, before we decided to live together. so basically: 1) i'm not the type he fantisizes about 2) he wants an open relationship this should be a warning, right? why is he insisting that i have nothing to worry about? sorry if this isn't the right place to talk about this stuff, but i'm still recently out and this is my first bf. i don't have many gay friends and i don't think my straight friends would understand.