SRS After Sentencing

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by emy2005, Sep 12, 2005.

  1. emy2005

    emy2005 New Member

    Jul 18, 2005
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    The Sentencing

    I went to the sentencing last Thursday, the police made me aware that Geoff would be in the room during sentencing. But it was what I had wanted to do; I wanted to be in the same room as him. The minute he walked into the room my heart started beating fast and hard. He looked surprised to see me and I managed to look him straight in the eye. Inside I was screaming and inside I cried. But I was so brave towards him and for the first time ever I didn’t panic. Although at one point he winked at me which scared me.

    During the break I spoke to the barrister and the police who advised me against writing the letter because I will get answers I don’t wanna hear. But at the end of the day it is up to me but they feel it would be in my best wishes not to. They tried to tell me it was not my responsibility what he does when he gets out or what he did after he raped me. But somehow I feel it is. But it was good that they had time to listen to my needs.

    Seeing his face when the sentencing was announced was very satisfying and even more satisfying was seeing the glare that the defence barrister got off him. During the break before the second half I went to the toilet after a woman who I found out later was one of the victim’s mothers. She asked how I was? And I said its very daunting and for once in my life I burst into tears and she hugged me and kissed me. She said that she thought I was very brave and was dead nice to me. She said that her daughter refuses to go to counselling and I told her a bit about counselling. During the second half the defence barrister tried to make the judge feel sorry for the defendant by saying his life had been affected a lot too. I wanted to scream when he said this, how can he say something like that about someone who goes out of their way to ruin people’s lives to make them more vulnerable.

    The justice system finally paid off he got 9 years, which was good considering. They were expecting 3 or 4 years, the most he could have got was 14 then the judge said "they had to give him credit" for pleading guilty to some offences which meant 30% so the maximum he could have got was 10 years so 9 years is obviously very good. But as I said to grandparents of another victim it doesn’t matter what the sentence is because it wont change the fact he’s ruined his victims lives. I was the only victim there but I felt like I was representing the 6 of us in a way. Does that sound strange? I have never met them but I always felt like I have had a connection with them. I wish I could talk to them or help them in some way but for some reason the police have always kept us apart.

    However I have wrote something about counselling that just states how it can help you but also has a few relaxation exercises to help that mother’s daughter I talked to. I am going to put it in with the thank you letter to the police, do you reckon they will pass it on?

    I long to talk to one of the victims but I suppose this will never happenL they all seem so nice and we are all so similar. I am still worried about my safety but I suppose I always will have to watch my back.

    Write bk n tell me what you think…

  2. johan

    johan Active Member

    Nov 4, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    A few things:

    1) I think you got to see first hand that being strong is and was the correct strategy.
    You see how staring that little fuckhead back in the eye made you strong. I think you would regret very much if you had broken down and cried in front of him.

    You're to be commended for standing up for yourself during this stress..
    Remember that. You stood up for yourself when it counted. Remind yourself of your strength when you're feeling down or weak.

    2) the police and barrister told you what we told you. Telling him that he hurt you...won't produce the feelings of guilt and sorrow that you're looking for. It will just let him know he got to you.

    3) his little wink at you was a last desperate little ploy to get under your skin again. I would've looked squarely back at him with satisfaction as they haul his ass to jail.

    Remember that rapists and child molesters, basically any sex offenders, are considered to be the lowest rung of prison society. And they are treated as such. Those 9 years are going to be worse than death.

    4) you won't be able to talk to the victims of this tragedy, but you don't need to. You can join a sexual assault support group and talk to like-minded women such as yourself.

    Share your healing among friends. Give your strength to those in need. And of course, in helping others, you also help yourself. See how so much good comes from little acts of kindness

    You could always ask to the police to contact the other victims but I think they will refuse. Anyways, it doesn't matter. Give that time to the people who have chosen to come to a S.A. support group. They've come there looking for help. Help them.

    all the best to you.
  3. kimjongil

    kimjongil Guest

    He will get what he deserves. You can count on that.
  4. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

    Feb 6, 2005
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    Land of Provincialism
    I think you are very brave, very, very brave. I am sorry that this has happened to you. No woman should ever, ever be violated.
    I also feel it is singularly wonderful that you show such compassion for the other victims of this horrific event.
    My heart goes out to you, I admire you for standing up and looking at him straight in the deserve several pats on the back just for that alone.
    I hope you use your strength and help others.
    I applaud you.
  5. MikeYOX

    MikeYOX May 2000 account: DELETED :(

    May 18, 2005
    Likes Received:
    West Boemfugk, Egypt
    They're going to put him somewhere where the punishment will truly fit the crime. :mad:

    Good for you. Remain strong.

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