I had taken two breaks last year each of about 30 days pretty close to each other and I just got back from the second one. It took me a while to come to this conclusion, but I am not a normal guy in that my health is not 100% and maybe due to that or maybe not it is unrelated but my physiological health isnt 100%. I don't have bipolor or some crazy mental problem but I am off just enough to not feel like other people do. It is just the small things, well I feel they are small. I have a hard time sitting still and I don't know why but it seems to bother people and some feel the need to say something. Is it hurting me or anyone, no of course not but people look at me different even though it is not like I am all over the place. Just a constant tapping of my foot or my hand usually. I am also nervous a fair amount of the time over nothing usually and if there really is something to be nevorus about then it gets bad; however, I have never let it stop me from doing anything and have always pushed it to the back of my mind. I think I have hit a point where this is as good as it gets. Going through high school it was really bad when I didn't know how to deal with it but now that I do it doesn't stop me from doing things. This with the ADD seems to have a negative impact on what people think of me until they get to know me. Even though I am out there doing what every person does for the most part. I really have taken advice from these forums and have become more active. I went from just taking two classes at a time and not even doing that great in them to a full time, all year round student and I am also taking tennis with a group. I am also taking Public Speaking so I am forcing my self outside of comfort zones. Still I don't feel I don't feel I am anywhere near the same level as a normal person should be because at this age I should be able do school and work but I can't school drains too much energy from me. I talked to my doctor a while back saying that school makes me really tired and he said it was because of me using up so much energy maintaining focus in school. Now with my current line up of 9:30am-3pm of being on campus I am wiped but I don't let that stop me from doing things. In fact this is the first day I have been home more then an hour this week and I shouldn't even be home right now because I need to go pick up some books. I just feel like I lose no mater what because I feel depressed when I have nothing to do but I feel tired and stressed when I have a full day, everyday. So I hope that explains why it seems like I am complaining when I have a full day and why I complain when I have nothing to do. For the longest time after the break up I focused on getting my life in order and in fact if it wasn't for the break up I would still be bullshitting my classes at school moving at a snails pace; however, besides having a sense of accomplishment, I don't feel happy about things. So now that I am not quite so normal where do I go from there? How am I going to live a full normal life with a 9-5 job and get a wife feeling the way I do?