SRS All these 'girl advice' threads

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ameter, Oct 26, 2005.

  1. Ameter

    Ameter Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,796
    Likes Received:
    55
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    Forgive me, but really, what's with all these 'I need advice about this girl' threads. With the exception of a few, almost all of them fall along the lines of 'I like her, but we're just friends' or 'I like her, but she seems standoffish' or something along those lines.

    Having been there before, I know the hope that 'this case is special, she's special, she'll see me for who I am' sticks around like a porcupine quill, but, I'm sorry to say it guys, she's not into you. If she's into you, you'll KNOW. You won't have to try to get her to like you. If you have to try, its done, its over, you've lost.

    Hollywood lies. Romance does not work the way they show it in movie theatres. Sacrificing yourself for her will not make her realise how much you love her and make her come to you. At best, she'll ignore you, at worst, she'll use and abuse your willingness to sacrifice for her.

    Guys, please, I'm sure you've seen it all before, and your case isn't special. The answer is going to be the same.

    Better luck next time, I'm rooting for you all. :bigthumb:
     
  2. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sure are a lot of these threads aren't there? :hsugh:
     
  3. wtfmate

    wtfmate OT Resident mafia insider

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2004
    Messages:
    15,946
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ¿ƃıp ɐʎ ¡uos 'o
    Exactly, well said.

    Don't let some bitch string you along. She's playing with you because you're weak. If you're a man so be a man, act like one, talk like one and be unreliable, make her think she needs you and not other way around. Girls want what they can't have. All of them love attention and if you're giving them all that before you even get to go out on a date or just get your dick taken care of (which is what we want anyways) then whats the point of wasting your time on one chick? You can use that time to work on another one or two or three.

    just my $0.02
     
  4. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,412
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
    The reason why there are so many threads is because so few boys are taught by their fathers how to be a man. In my opinion. And in my experience.

    My dad taught me NOTHING about women. :dunno: It took me decades to figure it out. I personally think it's great that all these guys are asking for help, because if they are anything like how I used to be, THEY NEED THE HELP! :)
     
  5. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Hell I think my dad still doesn't get it. He gave up a long time ago and now he is just my moms bitch. He doesn't even like it when I stand up to my girlfriend if she is being a spazz. I'm not going to be my gf's bitch like my dad is to my mom.
     
  6. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

    Joined:
    May 27, 2005
    Messages:
    1,496
    Likes Received:
    0
    With women, no good deed goes unpunished :big grin:
     
  7. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2003
    Messages:
    271,043
    Likes Received:
    1,999
    Location:
    Pearland, Texas
    This should probably be a sticky.
     
  8. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    0
    +1 My dad worked all the time, and even when he was around, we hardly talked. 2 older sisters too, so noone taught me a damn thing! I'm just now starting to see the light.
     
  9. Ameter

    Ameter Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,796
    Likes Received:
    55
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    I agree, however, giving the same advice in 10+threads every week grows tiresome. I feel for these guys, having been (and likely will again in the future) in their positions, but it gets frustrating giving someone the same advice you just gave someone else.
     
  10. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,120
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    Not as frustrating as explaining to someone that the sky is blue and water is wet, and then have them argue with you. You point out that if they would just look up at the sky, the answer would be self-evident, but they still argue with you about WHY they cannot look up.

    You then realize they're too deeply involved with their pre-existing worldview -- the one that caused the grief in the first place -- and they're not ready/not willing to expand to a larger sense of self.

    Sigh. It's just part of helping.
     
  11. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Messages:
    7,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Chloroform + Rag helps any man get any girl.

    On a serious note, I still ask people for advice when getting girls. It can range from; just introducing me to her, to telling me what I need to do. Depends on the girl and the situation...
     
  12. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,491
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Well im not particulary fond of the sosuave threads we have in here recently and i already closed one, i don't want to mix emotional help during relationships with relationship tips and tricks which exceed the boundries of the Asylum,they belong in the sosuave and Don jon forums out there on the internet, and are barely good enough for me to be moved to the vag.So when it comes to relationship emotional advice the asylum is a good place to get it(by the mercy and dedication of the asylum users of course.).

    I will make sure however that the asylum will be free from any 'asshole v.s nice guys sosuave threads' :squint:
     
  13. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,234
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    It would seriously be interesting to be your psychologist Dark and I am not trying to be mean.
     
  14. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,412
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
    That was me (your dad) many years ago. I am glad I read up and learned. I bet if you read Doc Love's stuff (www.Askmen.com) or bought his book (www.DocLove.com) you'd have an ever bigger and better view on it. If your dad got ahold of it, I bet he would divorce your mom, though, so be a little careful.... seriously. Doc Love made me re-think my marriage and helped me finalize my divorce (I was seperated when I bought it.)

    Yes, but at the same time I am really glad gusy are here *asking* for help, because some of them are going to try it and maybe help themselves. I would never want anyone to go through what I did for so long, which is why I try to give advice.

    I agree with avoiding "tricks" because those are deceptive to both the man and the woman. I personally think helping people better themselves, forming quality relationships, and avoiding bad ones is very valuable.

    The god thing about this recent influx is to ne able to point out that there ARE other resources (books, guides/"systems", & forums) out there, and that there are some really good ones, too! I think it can really be a big help to lots of guys who have never received guidance. That is why I try to link to other sites based on what the person is asking/saying that I think might match their needs best (as far as I can tell.)

    I never knew about ANY of this stuff until ~2 years ago. I'm 36. Had I seen this was I was 16 ... man, I'd be in a totally different world (although I am very happy with where I am now, too!)
     
  15. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2003
    Messages:
    271,043
    Likes Received:
    1,999
    Location:
    Pearland, Texas
    Yeah, I think we need to be a lot more ready to refer someone offsite when stuff really doesn't go with the bent of the asylum. Relationship stuff, link 'em to a relevant article from askmen or something no problemski.
     
  16. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,044
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Land of Provincialism
    I read this thread yesterday and I gave it thought here and there during the day.
    Yes, there are a lot of guy/girl/relationship problems in the asylum.
    No, I don’t think that books are of any help concerning relationships, with the exception of “Loving Each Other” (Leo Buscaglia).
    No, I do not think that the Asylum is the place to seek dating “tips/tricks”, etc.—The Vag is much better suited for stuff like that.

    The thing is men/women and other intimate/love relationship(s) are fundamental. All are the same, yet all have a different flavor. In that respect, everyone has probably gone through the angst and the joy. I often think that people who post here seeking relationship advice (not “tips”, but good solid advice) see their problem as unique, or, as in the case of many, have no where else to turn to for comfort, knowledge, affirmation, a different point of view, positive reinforcement or simply just to vent.

    Perhaps people post here because they are young and do not know how to handle their romance and would feel awkward talking about it with their peers (and I think that happens often).

    Yes, we can give out standard replies and we often do. Some argue with those replies, some have a different point of view, and it all goes round in another circle.

    The important thing we should remember, is that relationships are emotional events, and other than the blatant posts of which I am sure the Moderators move to the appropriate forum, the Asylum as stated, is an emotional hideout, a sort of Last Chance Texaco, where one goes when there is nowhere else to go; no one to turn to, and get honest, solid advice that is hopefully without judgment or ridicule.

    Whether the post be about something as urgent as suicide, heart wrenching as a first kiss gone wrong, the sadness of death, the complex emotions of love, the age old “my parents don’t understand me,” the misconstrued with mental issues, or the perplexity of a marriage on the rocks, etc., I should think that it is the Asylum’s task to treat each post as “new” and with the compassion that is evident in so many of us who frequent this forum and respond.

    Just an opinion from a sentimental old lady. :)
     
  17. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Then don't. It gives me something to do when I am at work, plus, some guys whom you have helped only get this message drilled in their head even more. It's like a public service announcement for men.
     
  18. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Why don't you guys open up a forum on forums.offtopic.com specifically for dating and relationships. In fact, you can title it Datring and Relationships. That will help solve your problems right there without having to refer everyone to another whole website and ask them to register there to ask their questions.
     
  19. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,412
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
    I agree with that.

    Personally, I don't see where these kind of questions fit in - they don't really fit in here, and they don't really fit in Vag either. A seperate area would be perfect.
     
  20. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,120
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    I agree with that.

    The Vag is often times too silly or too immature, or the answers are pure guesswork or e-bragging.

    It's entertaining, sure, but there is a real need for serious, high-quality answers to something that probably consumes 98% of waking cycles for a lot of OT'ers.

    So it goes in Asylum because they get taken seriously here.
     
  21. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,044
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Land of Provincialism

    Excellent Idea...that is, if it is taken seriously.
     

Share This Page