Update So the day after this happens, my gf calls me in the afternoon to say that she has forgiven me and that we should just be friends. Given her past and extreme reluctance with forgivenss (she said herself that she never forgives, she just forgets), I don't really believe her and almost call her to say that she hasn't had enough time to forgive me. But I just let it go. Later that night she calls me again, and we talk for a few hours just like nothing ever happened. THe only difference was there was no "I love you" at the end. She calls me the next day and the next night as well, just like always. Anyway, the last time I talked to her she suddenly was like "Well you are going to find out eventually so I might as well tell you. I didn't want to even be your friend at first. But I can't not be your friend. But I still can't be with you so long as you still think like that." We discuss this for a while, and I finally get it out of her that she thinks because I think like this, she knows that I will cheat on her (she is basing this on her mom and dad because this is the way he started before he cheated). She is convinced that I will cheat on her when I come upon a situation where I know that I won't get caught. I can't say that I am completely surprised by this, I mean her parents have destroyed any kind of trust that she would have toward other people, and it's just happening again. As for thinking about other chicks, dudes, animals, whatever naked, I can't do it anymore. Every time I would normally do it (like see someone attractive in public), I start thinking "hmm this is where I would imagine his/her torso/shoulders/feet/whatever, but the only thing I can think of is my gf and how I was rebuked for doing it." THen I can only think about her. Am so fucked. SHe called me at least 6 times yesterday and I didn't answer one, she left a few voice mails. I can't stop thinking about how I have ruined something so perfect. She says she won't get back with me until I change but she doesn't think I can because I told her it was "natural" and "i can't help it." I really screwed myself. I made a comment to my gf (completely facetiously) over the phone about seeing another woman and imagining her naked (imaginary woman by the way). I know, not my brightest moment, but if I had any idea it would cause this much problem, I would have never said anything. Of course she was furious (and I admit I would be too), but she talked to me a few days later still fuming. We start discussing what happened, and she finds out that I think about other women. I don't imagine what it would be like with them or anything. I love this girl with all of my heart, care for her so much, and I thought I was as committed to her as I could be. Apparently to her, just thinking about other women shows that I am not committed at all and that our entire relationship is one big lie, that i don't love her, etc etc. It's not like I sit around fantasizing about other women or anything. I guess I am just a curious person. It's just that sometimes when I see an attractive person (dudes included I suppose) I just imagine what they look like under their clothes, I guess to compare with what I have seen in real life. Like especially if someone is wearing shoes, I'll try to imagine what their feet look like. Sometimes it crosses my mind to kill myself just to see what actually would happen if I did, like where my mind would go, if there is just nothing, etc. I think I am just a curious person innately. Whatever is wrong or not wrong with me, this is a huge problem for my gf. She thinks that my thinking or imagining what other women look like shows that I am not committed to her at all. She says that she thinks about no other guy but me, she sees an attractive guy and takes it for face value and doesn't even imagine him without a shirt or anything, EVER. I find this hard to believe. I just dont see how one could stop something like that from popping into your mind (whether you want to or not) just because you are committed to an SO. Especially with guys. I mean this is OT for christsakes. You guys know what goes on here. With all the relationships out there, people who are truely committed, there is no one else like me? When you are truely in love, does this level of committment just pop into existence, and I stop doing something which I have done since puberty just because I love her? Maybe she can actually go with never thinking of another guy's body forever, maybe it's possible, but I just can't believe it. Especially with guys. I think we are just different creatures. I can't stop what I think, if I could control it I would, but can you not think about a pink bunny right now? I mean, how do you control stuff like that which seems so natural to me. Sure I see how it hurts her, and it would be best if she didn't know, but I thought this was just natural. If she did this as well, I would accept it as being natural and trust that she wouldnt act on any of her thoughs. I would never cheat on her, but just telling you I would never cheat on her makes me think about cheating. Just because I mention cheating, it pops into my mind and I think about the concept of cheating. Doesn't mean I will do it, and it doesn't mean I am less committed to her than 13 seconds ago because I wasn't thinking about the concept of cheating. So now she says that the only thing she will be thinking about when she is around me is that I am looking at other women and lusting after them. She can never trust me and says that since I think this is natural and I can't help it, that I will bever be committed to her, EVER. She thinks I was never in love with her, that I don't know what love is, she doesn't think we can be friends because I have hurt her so deeply, more than her parents (which is very very bad, but I am not going there). My feelings for her and what I am feeling now is ineffable, but she will never forget this because she thinks I can't change and I dont know if she would be with me still knowing about this thing that I can't control. Am I just wrong? Does a committed relationship mean that you are NEVER going to think about someone you see? I just don't see how anyone can turn off their imagination just because you are in love with someone.