I dont know what to say... im 21, and i feel its kinda sad that i never had a SO at all. And on top of that, i think i got genital warts from all the chicks ive slept with in the past, all flings and pointless. On top of that, im pressured by my parents to go to school and follow my footsteps of my father to be an attorney. As days go on, it gets lonelier and lonelier, and I fill that void by spending money on expensive clothes and gadgets and shit, and gettin high on drugs and drinking. It used to help, but now its getting kind of repetitive and pointless. I have no incentive, no girlfrield to bust my ass and strive and change for. Ive never had any social skills to hit on decent girls or approach even when Im drinking at the bar, even though i have noticed that dressing and grooming well has caught the attention of some fine women, but not the alcohol helps, and the money for all my stuff comes from my parents.... But when I do speed, Im a totally different person, im everything I ever want to be, Im a total opposite attitude, nothing fades me, I am fearless. But my parents dont believe me on taking medication for some reason, and theres no way im gonna go back to illegal drugs. The only time I feel the total opposite and happy, without the help of drugs is when i go back home. But the next time I go back home, which might be another year. And even if I decide to move back home, I have really no means of maintaining a financial Income unless I start pushing drugs or robbing foreigners, which my different attitude will compell me to do. I dont know, im not happy. Im stuck in a dillema. Its like Im trapped.