Okay, I've been through this more then enough times and am doing alright with it but I thought it would be good to write it down where I can get some moral support. So here it goes. Alright so I went to Australia for 6 months to study abroad last semester, best time of my life, hands down incredible. So on my srping break I see this girl that was on my trip on the first night, I didn't really talk to her for a couple of days but I knew the second I saw her that I'm going to get her. So over the course of the two week trip we talk and hang out and we instantly hit it off and that good stuff. We make out like once on the trip. We happen to go to the same university in Australia and we end up hanging out a fair amount. I go into super creeper mode, I will not let this girl get away. So that turns into us have lots of late nights and long talks for 3 months and all we do is make out maybe two times over the course of the rest of our stay in OZ. Her last two nights she sleeps over at my place and I'm thinking what the fuck, why did this not happen sooner. So we get back to the States this december, shes in Mass and I'm in NJ. I go up to Vermont for christmass with my friends every year so I tell her shes pretty much on the way and I stop over for two days on the way up. We end hooking up but it happened to be that week for her so we didn't seal the deal. So I drive up to vermont and we're talking constantly everyday and she ends up driving up to see me for a couple of days. We get kind of drunk one night and before I know it we're having unprotected sex. In my drunkeness I ask if shes on the pill or anything and she says no, and God help me I stopped because thats the last fucking thing I need. So she gets mad at me for it. whatever. She heads back home two days later. And I start getting texts and phone calls like cant stop thinking about you blah blah blah and we end up making plans for me to go back to her place for new years. I end up staying there for a week. The girl blue balls me every night for the entire week I'm there except for the last night...what the fuck. So she drives down for a weekend I drive up for a weekend and so it goes for a coupld of weeks. My last trip up there was about 3 weeks ago, I went up for 5 days. Everything was great we went to parties and just generaly had a great time over the week, we finally sealed the deal, there was so much build up to it. But some of the things she said over the weekend really urked me. The big one is that although it is painfully obvious to anyone that we are hooking up she denies it to all of her roommates. So probably 6 hours after we had sex for the first time were sitting in the living room with her roommates and the subject of the last time you hjad sex comes up. I'm sitting right there and she says: it was 3 months ago with Ian (hot australian surf instructor)...it was the best sex of my life. I didn't know what to say I just walked outside and smoked a cigarett. So by the end of the 5 days we we're starting to get on eachothers nervers just a bit which is natural when you dont have a second to your self for 5days. So I leave and then when I get home she all of a sudden doesnt want to talk to me. She just shut me out for like 3 days. The best part of it was that she was in New jersey 5 minutes from my house at a sorority confrences and just refused to see me. So after shutting me out for like 3 days she calls me and acts like nothing is wrong and then later texts me: Hey I'm really sorry about how I've been treating you the last couple of days I miss you xoxo. I kind of shut her down on the phone and didnt respond to her text. A half an hour later after the text message she IM's me: so what? are we not talking anymore? And I tell her that I'm pissed off about what she did and she tells me that she got scared because she likes me so much and blah blah blah. So the weeks have gone by and we havnt seen eachother since that episode and the texts have all but vanish, we dont talk much and my I miss yous and cant wait to see yous are totallly ignored and not recipricated when we talk. I feels over but I dont want it to be. I've hooked up wiht other girls in the last two weeks but nothing can shake this girl from my system. this should be so easy because shes so far away but I just though she wasnt crazy like the last couple. Fuck it, encoreging words are more then welcome, and kudos to anyone who actually read through all the typos and the novel I just wrote. Thanx OT.