Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Wrigley, Mar 27, 2010.
rubbed against a dolphins with my leg once
not funny or interesting at all. You are sick.
ROFL LMAO!!! and yes, sick at the same time....
well....this is freakyshiat
It's not like he was particularly vulgar or graphic. Warning: Taboo limit reached!
No, though the topic of beastiality came up in a discussion with my friends the other day, and I really don't think I'd mind that much if a girl I was dating fucked her dog. It just doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me compared to complaining about me leaving the toilet seat up or trying to make me watch sex and the city. Those actions are much more reprehensible to me.
The most sexual experience I have ever personally had with an animal was when a professor of science was at my school doing some sort of research project involving the mating processes of male and female orangutans. Basically, the female monkey wouldn't give in to the male monkeys sly attempts to woo her. The professor said that \\\\\\ the chick monkey might not have high enough libido and needed to get a "head start". I was his assistant so I had to "motivate her to a higher sex drive". This involed rubbing the monkeys vagina with a baton to "get her in the mood". That didn't seem to do the trick, and the male monkey was going CRAZY watching this, throwing his ball at the cage wall near us and screaming his ass off. (All I could think of was the family guy episode when the evil monkey in Chris's closet came home to find his slutty monkey wife in bed the other monkey, and that's when he went crazy.)
ANYWAY, that didn't seem to do the trick so I had to use my fingers the professor said for direct contact. This actually seemed to work, and the professor said that this was disgusting, but was necesaary to his research. I didn't feel that bad doing it, at least I wasn't jerking off the male monkey LOL. This started to work pretty good after a while and the female started making little chanting noises. I was thinking about maybe pinching her nipples or something but I don't think that would've been too professional.
Once she started to grab at my hand, the professor said that she was ready and we released her in the cage, and I swear to god I saw that male monkey look me in the eye and GRIN when he saw that horny female charging at him. They continued to mate, long story short, now the professor has a new 18 month old orangutan to train and study.
X2!!!!! Honestly not sure I could do that.
This thread is going places!
lol, it is actually a quote from my cig that willwonka posted like 4 years ago
Thinking about it more, I'd be more offended if my girlfriend fucked my cat. Even though my cat is too small to bang a human, but if I had like an ocelot or a lynx, something the size of a dog, and she started fucking it, I'd feel like that big cat is a legitimate threat to our relationship, like she'd leave me for him if I don't try harder. If she was fucking the dog, I'd just put that on the level of using a dildo and wouldn't think much of it, but fucking a cat is much more personal in my opinion, like that cat is honest competition to me if she enjoys fucking him. I'm not gonna lie, my cat Lando would probably make a better boyfriend than me to most women. That little guy is smooth with the ladies.
Solution: Cheat on her with an un-spayed female cat to even out the universe.
I have jerked off a male wild pig
We were pig hunting and when you kill a male boar its best to jerk off the pig to get the testosterone out of the meat and it taste better
well the old man I was with did the 1st one and when we killed the 2nd one he told me -- Your turn son -- LOL
Needless to say -- I dont shoot male pigs anymore if I can tell its a male LOL
that is too funny
what? You sure your old man wasn't just fucking with you?
He isnt the only person I know to do that
Its a common practice
I actually know some dog trainers that will jerk off their dog --- after that the dog will pretty much do anything they ask em to
As if they wont without jerking them off
I know pigs orgasm for like 30 minutes or some shit ... but now you're saying they can still cum after they're dead?
You have to do it immediately or no
talk about a humane death
I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!
So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got myself to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to acclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakably erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.
I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and reveling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.
I do not brag about this though. It is not something you can brag about, since it not only is demeaning to the act, but it destroys the purpose of the act as well; to express affection, and trust. I only consent to those dolphins who ask. As a result, I have mated only three times. Each time was memorable and special, because each time it was something we both wanted to share with each other. Sex, for me, is just another, albeit powerful, expression of affection and trust. I wouldn't engage any other animal, though; it is not my attraction. But there is little I wouldn't do for a dolphin.
oh what the fuck