Im not a family oriented person. I have a lot of shit bottled up. My life has sucked since March. I used to pray ever day, now im findin reasons not to. i dont call my friends. i dont answer when they call me. i didnt care to hold my brothers new baby. i hate my life in general. i went to a club to release some stress and my credit card didnt work because that, along with 3 other bills are all 3 weeks late a piece. I gave myself every reason in the book to take my vehicle and use it as a weapon to kill myself with. But I figured, I didnt die when my SUV flipped on the drivers side and slid for 50 yards in March, I wont have any luck the 2nd time around. Ive had this list of shrinks and their numbers sitting next to my computer for a week but I cant bring myself to call them. And I refuse to talk to family or friends about my problems.