I have a circle of really great friend but my two best friends who have always been there for me but somehow they both end up pissing me off the most out of the circle because of the way they are. Let me tell you about them Guy 1 just had a kid and is now unemployed and squeezing out as much unemployment as he can. He constantly tells everyone how he is street smart and can make it in the world with out college. IMO Street smart is the cooler way to say im not kinda really smart smart. To me an education is everything. What pisses me off is that with the kid and unemployment he still goes out to movies eats out and buys nice things and doesn't like to spend money on other people which i understand but (me being selfish here) if i get stuck eating out with him and guy 2 which will be talked about later i end up paying when those two wanted to go out to eat. Anyways imo guy 1 should be looking for a job during the time shifts for watching the baby (him and his gf switch off) and saving as much money as he can. I mean I understand sometimes you gotta have fun but you have a life to take care of now, you know? Guy 2 My oldest friend the one whom i've hung out with the longest. Simply said he is a bum. Sometimes I can't stand it, he constantly does the "feel bad for me complaining" or the "subtle hungry whining" and also "im bored sighing". We both currently smoke for the longest time i've been trying to "quit" but I can't because I end up buying a pack and sharing it with him. If im going to buy a pack im going to have some too. I've told him countless times to go get a job anywhere you can fuck it go to McDonalds his response is "fuck that working at Mcdonalds is a fucking shit job look at all the losers..." I want to tell him so bad that right now that burger boy is making patties but at least he can somewhat support himself. But i don't have the heart to say it because he gets offended easily and pissy easily too I don't want to deal with it. Right now he lives with guy 1 and constantly complains about how he has nothing to eat cause he has no money, how he has no smokes, no money, how he has to sleep in a shitty sofa and hears a baby crying and has to deal with an old man and a couple who live upstairs. (btw guy 1 lives downstairs. guy 2 sleeps in the living room of guy 1's apt.) You know what the biggest bullshit is. His family is loaded and he was spoiled but his parents couldn't handle his attitude so they kicked him out but they'll let him back in as long as he gets a job. They'll give him everything they'll pay for his phone pay off his debt every fucking thing. He hates them though cause they don't respect him. As king of the world. Its understandable though right? Me I'm the Idiot who still loves these guys no matter how much they piss me off. I'm no better than them though. I'm 21, I work at a gas station as a deli guy making 8 bucks/hr 40hrs/wk, live with my mom in a pretty ok apartment, I'm fat no girlfriend (but currently I know i don't need more stress at this point of time in my life) and if I don't do something soon my future will be the same as theirs. I have dreams though just like them and anyone who else is reading this thread. Because you know what I want to live in a house with my mom with an awesome career. Instead I'm stuck in my own shit, and im sick of it. I'm sick of living in a shitty apartment, I'm sick of thinking about my asshole father who left us to live with his other family over seas, I'm sick of my mom coming home from work tired I don't want her working anymore cause a couple years ago she found out she had MS. I'm sick of customers who think its a bright idea to come in 5 mins to close and want to buy a sandwich off of my just clean slicer. I'm sick of friends who think I'm an asshole because id rather go to sleep early than stay up all night and play video games and go out to do shit and spend money cause they have nothing better to do the next day. And i'm sick of them not getting their priorities straight. I'm sick of feeling worthless. But you know what I'm fucking sick of the most. Life is how you make it to be and that even in the darkest times only you can turn that light on and make it brighter I know that I can change all of this in time but im too big a pussy to do so. I'm too scared to confront my friends. I believe that even if i get a degree from community college that it won't even matter. I fear that I'll be working the same shit for years to come. I want to help my mom but I know I can't. I don't remember where i was going with this but I tihnk what i was looking for was help.