I'm just ranting, but at what point do you just tell yourself "hey my life sucks and I might as well accept it". It seems like my life will never get better, and I'm destined to have a shit life no matter how hard I try to change that. The last couple years I've been trying to get into the plumbers union with no luck, I went to school for carpentry in chillicothe, I come back to kansas city and can't even find a construction job that pays more then 8 an hour. So I ended up getting back into security which I didn't want to do. I'm flipping a house with a couple friends and I already know I'm not going to get any money from the house.* I guess I should explain why, since I don't have any money I wasn't able to invest any money into the house we're flipping so I'm probably looking at 10% of the total profit while the other two guys get the other 90%. Whatever money I do get, I've pretty much been told I need to reinvest that into the next house or I won't be included. I'm 30K in debt with nothing to show for it, about 17K of that is to my mom. I borrowed money when I went to school in chillicothe, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to go back to school. I barely make 10 bucks an hour at my current job and I struggle just to pay all my bills, and actually I don't pay all of them. I have 3 outstanding debts not counting my mom that I haven't made a payment on in at least 3-5 months. My bank account is neg. 600 dollars right now. I've thought about getting a second job, but then it would feel like I have 3 jobs. Betweem my full-time job, the house were flipping, I'm already working 60-70 hours a week, I picked up an odd job just to make a couple extra bucks and I can tell the other guys I'm working with on the house are getting upset with me because I'm not at the house every day. And if things couldn't get worse my car has 187K miles on it, and I think the trasmission is starting to go, but I don't have any money to get a new car/truck. I really just don't know what else I can do. At times I just wished I was dead, although I don't think I could ever kill myself. I just leave work it feels like I'm spinning my wheels in mud, I don't ever get anywhere with my debt. It now seems like most of the time all I want to do is drink to forget about how much my life sucks. I'm just tired of living.