To make things short, ill start off by saying the following. October-December 2005, my boyfriend cheated on me with "the other woman" and got her pregnant. Needless to say I felt upset and angry and betrayed. I decided to forgive him and stay with him to make things work, because I love him and im not losing him to a stripper..(which is what she did for money b4 she got pregnant). This post is about my trust issues with him now, after the babys birth. (The baby is 3.5 months old). Now, BEFORE the baby was born, me and my bf discussed how we were going to "deal" with this situation." we agreed that the only contact he would have with the other woman was the mandatory support checks he had to cut her every month. He said he disliked the woman and didn’t want any contact with her. Recently, I have found out the following things that he has chosen to keep from me about the baby/"other woman": 1) she brings the baby over every Monday for custody visits. He kept this from me, saying he had to "work" or "run errands". I felt betrayed because this entire time he was really with his baby and he never told me. I feel lied to. 2) When I found out, I assumed it was just my bf and the baby, but I also found out the "other woman" stays for drinks and "hangs out" when the babys over. Every Monday. 3) Whenever she calls he picks the phone up right away. Anytime of day. I feel that they are forging a bond and that they are becoming involved. because she is the mother of his baby, I cant say anything. I feel alone. 4) I recently found out that he was present in the hospital room when she was giving birth. This totally freaked me out because he lied and said he didn’t go, until recently when he admitted it. To me this is especially painful, because usually a man stays in the birth room when they’re married or committed to each other. At least, this is what I believe.... As a result, I fell generally mistrusting of him. I feel that I cant believe anything he says. I feel that he completely disregarded out original agreement about the custody of the baby, and I fear that hes going to return to the woman he cheated on me with. I feel that it doesn’t matter how long we’ve dated,( 4 years) how romantic he is, how "strong" we are together, because he is legally obligated to this woman for 18 more years now. She will always be there, and I constantly feel second. I don’t know what to do. I would feel differently if he had his son BEFORE we started dating, but to me this baby is a tangible reminder of how he cheated on me. So, my question is, should I approach him with these feelings? Or, do I have no right to say these things to him, in order to keep "my place"? Im at a loss, the thoughts are driving me nuts!!