Alright, long story short... I don't know my biological mother, my father raised me. I met her once when I was around 16 years old, and I am now 28. I'm in CA, she's in TX. After our initial visit/meet we lost contact again. I think it was too much too soon and it was just weird. Fast forward to today, I'm married with a child. The last couple weeks out of no where I decided to start searching online. The search was generally easy and I e-mailed her husband, and then we got in contact through e-mail. We've talked, and sorta caught up and she continuously apologizes for being so stupid, making bad decisions, and being unable to care for me and causing my Dad/Grandparents so many problems. I mean I get it, people make bad decisions and change. If someone asks me about the situation I always said I didn't care, and I still kind of think I don't. I mean she's just another person to me. I wouldn't know her any differently than another stranger on the street, yet I am the one who sought her out... but why? I can't figure it out. She says any questions I can just ask and she will truthfully answer them, but I have nothing. Will I ever accept her as a motherly figure? She keeps referencing things like she would give anything to see my son, my wife and I, but I don't know if I could ever do that. It's a distant thought in the least. I'm just confused. It's like, why did I contact her? Did I do it as a "look at me now" kinda thing? Re-reading some of our first e-mails I made it a point to tell her every major accomplishment in my life, the jobs I've had, colleges I was accepted into and so on. The funny thing is I thought I was keeping to the topic of conversation but I kinda turned it into a me me me thing unknowingly. One part of me thinks she deserves to have some sort of relationship with me, as I am a father now and I can only imagine what she's going through, and another part of me just wants to be like look what you've missed out on. So I don't know the purpose of this thread. Just sharing this weird situation with others who might have some advice or words for me. Cliffs: Read my post.