I broke up with my ex and recently have been very depressed. It was a horrible relationship we fought all the time she did change but I lost interest I guess I just had enough and all the fighting sent me over the edge. Well she calls me every day I've tried to avoid her but its hard shes close with my parents anyway she makes me feel bad about me ending it with her she mentions all the good times we had, etc. We did have some good times. It was the kind of relationship where when things were good they were incredible and when they were bad it was an all out war. Well now I'm wondering If I did the right thing. I'm having family problems and I know she would be there to help me, I don't like being alone, the sex was incredible, and we have a ton in common but at the same time the thought of spending time with her isn't appealing to me at all, I'm scared to have sex with her because I don't want her to trap me in with pregnancy. She keeps begging me to try one more last time but I can't get the energy to try and she doesn't seem to get that. She thinks I can make myself try and I cant. I did love this girl at one time I thought we were going to get married but it went down the tubes. One problem is I don't meet that many woman and I would really hate to see her find someone else before me. I don't know theres some benefits to getting back with her but also alot of down falls. I think its better to be apart but I don't know if I'm ready and I know she isn't because shes crying non stop. What do I do make this break up permanent. I'm very co dependent and I don't have confidence so i'm afraid of meeting someone new. Not only that but this was my first real girl friend. Any thoughts or advice would be helpful. Its just a really hard thing to deal with and I'm really lost. I think I deserve better but am afraid of loosing what I had.