I was abandoned a few years ago by all my friends and i've been spiraling deeper into depression ever since. I'm graduating High School tomorrow and I'm not gonna do shit over summer except work. Meanwhile, I met up with old friends today at school and it just got me thinking. I don't really WANT to do anything as a career. I can't help it, but I lack passion/emotion/enthusiasm for whatever is going on around me. I just don't give a shit about anyting anymore. I'm losing interest in my truck hobby. And i'm not making new interest in anything. They are all going to bigger schools/universities, and live lives without problems. I meanwhile can't find a reason to live and I'm very isolated. I think i'm going crazy. Crazy thoughts are going in and out of my head and it's breaking me down no matter how hard I try to keep composure. I need help, but I won't get it because I believe that I can overcome anything by myself which is how i've lived my life to this point. I've been battling with the depression for 4 years and i'm not going anywhere. I keep trying to study myselft and applying my mind to overcome my own mind disease but nothing is working. Im drained of all enery. The internet, the fucking internet, has become my refuge because i've got nowhere else.