SRS can't let go

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by zooenthusiast, Mar 12, 2007.

  1. zooenthusiast

    zooenthusiast New Member

    Nov 21, 2006
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    so i was in a relationship for 2 years. and yes we were young but it was intense and we went through A LOT. i gave a lot of myself and when we broke up we of course agreed to be friends because we still both cared deeply about the other. well one day he stopped answering when i would call and never returned my messages. just one day he dropped me. and then finally he told me that he was seeing someone, and i understood that they needed time. well this was a year ago. she still will not permit me to talk to him, even though i have been able to a couple times in the past year. well i can't let go. i was really hurt that he dropped me like that and forgot about me, especially because i went through a really rough time and i asked him for help and he told me he couldn't (and of course i still thought all those promises during and after our relationship of always being there for me still stood). well i've tried so hard to forget him and to rid my mind of him. but i can't. it seems no matter what i do i just have so many questions. i feel really abandoned. anyway, should i try to appeal to his better nature and get him to talk to me or if not, how do i forget him? it was easy for him to forget me, and i'm in a relationship now too but i still can't shake him. so please OT, what should i do?
  2. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    May 29, 2000
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    San Diego, CA
    No, leave him alone. He's moved on and you need to work on moving on too. You really shouldn't be in a relationship now either if you are this obsessed with your ex, it's not fair to your new bf. People say a lot of things at the end of relationships to try to make it less painful but the reality is that most people don't stay great friends once it's over. He's not "abandoning" you, he doesn't owe you anything. He is growing up and moving on with his life. You can't hold onto your old relationships forever, things change and life goes on. It will take you time to move on. You've gotta stop trying to contact him, don't stalk him online or ask friends about him. Go out with your friends and live your own life and eventually you'll get over him.
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 Active Member

    Jan 2, 2006
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    Exactly. Go look at any typical thread in the Vag about getting over an ex. The best thing anyone can do unless it ended mutually or something is to completely cut off contact with the other person.

    It's like a wound that is scabbing over. If you keep constantly picking at it, it will never heal, and could get worse. You have to leave it alone and give it the time to heal naturally. This is the same thing with your ex.

    Once you realize that you probably WON'T stay friends with him, and stop trying to stay his friend, you can begin to get over him.

    It's hard, but you're going to have to let go completely.
  4. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

    Dec 15, 2000
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    Really sounds like you have a tendency to rely on other people in your "relationships" as a coping device for noving having to face yourself... You gotta enjoy your time with yourself, do you have hobbies? interests, passions? Do you really require him to validate your existence?

    If you gave a lot of yourself in your relationship you likely did so because you don't respect yourself enough, perhaps hoping someone would give so much of them self for you right... you cant expect that, its not a duty...

    face yourself, respect yourself, move on.

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