Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by 2397, Mar 5, 2015.
in on 1
@ iwywb's comment
What is the phrase that jjj likes to use that means generous patient goodness will beget generous patient goodness?
edit: got it. virtuous circle.
I hadn't even realized that thread was made in 2013!!
just started a new job this week.
ehh. its a start. but it is a prestigious place to work. money is decent and it'll help me get to somewhere i want to be in the future.
I totally got a vasectomy.
so this girl i've been in an open relationship with since last september. i just asked her to be exclusive with me.
on the plus side i like her a whole lot and i've never communicated this well with another girl. on the minus side, she has a more physical friendship with an ex than im ideallyy comfortable with, ie holding hands/sitting on lap/etc.
my reasoning is: she claims she feels nothing for him and all of that means nothing/reflects no feelings from her part. even if she's not being honest with herself, i think it's good for me to learn to trust a girl despite my misgivings (ie it'll come in handy for future relationships), since im quite an insecure person atm. so 1) i do think she's being honest, and 2) even if she isnt, it's good to learn how to trust another person despite misgivings ie it'll be helpful for future relationships
don't do it
your math doesn't add up for me.
You should absolutely NOT trust someone who exhibits untrustworthy behavior, especially if you have trust issues. She will violate your trust and that will reinforce your "dont trust anyone" tendancies when you should be looking for someone who seems trust worthy so you can learn to trust more easily/more fully.
I also would be concerned about the guy. He see's her giving every indication of being interested, so he goes and does something grossly disrespectful to your new exclusive relationship. Now what? You know she invited that. Do you freak out at him for doing it? her for inviting it? both? manufactured drama.
"she claims she feels nothing for him and all of that means nothing/reflects no feelings from her part."
What shes doing is not ok. why is she sitting in his lap? It's almost worse that shes not doing it because shes attracted to him. If it's not attraction then what is it? she just likes the attention she gets from teasing him?
imho, in a standard vanilla monogomous relationship I expect my partner to uphold both propriety and the appearance of propriety. Something looking bad, is something bad. I don't give a crap about "it doesn't really mean... It's not like that" If it looks like that, you shouldn't being doing it. period.
That being said, you are not currently exclusive with her, so her behavior now is not necesarily how she behaves in a relationship. I would make my expectations clear and if she enthusiastically agreed I'd procede. If I had to twist her arm that she should stop the foreplay with her ex, that would be a big red flag for me.
no kids? how old? congrats man. I wish I had the balls to do it. I'm just so afraid that I'll meet a girl that I would want bad enough to suffer through the child rearing grind for.
Good for you, that's kind of fascinating
Hmm, I don't know that I like the sound of this, but I'm assuming she accepted being exclusive?
I am planning a trip to Iceland and Denmark this summer, for my mom and me. Really excited, but also totally overwhelmed. It's all I can think about!
will be only my second time out of the country (first time I was 17, went to England)
Oh wow. Congrats
Go for it.
I'm 34. My fiance has a child. I had thought about it before, but like you, I was nervous that it would be a deal breaker for potential partners. I mean I also wanted a kid at some point too. But now I have one, so that's not a factor. And I'm getting married to a woman who isn't looking to have more, so that's not a factor either. Granted, there's always the possibility that things could change for some reason - and I've considered that - but I still think it's a good decision.
Because you're a young, unmarried (for now) guy and it's not common. I'm in no way against it, I still am shocked though when someone follows through with it
Things have been going great with the guy I've been dating...until his batshit crazy ex decided to swoop in and shit all over us with her drama
LIKE A BAUCE.
Glad to hear things are going well.
What impact has she had?