Common Bad Advice..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by BradUF, Oct 29, 2007.

  1. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Common bad advice about girls or guys that you have heard over the years. One that I am going to have to go with is, "Be yourself"

    Yes, you should be yourself but if yourself is boring then you should change. If you are boring then you don't have much to you to begin with, so what you are doing is not changing who you are but becoming someone to begin with.
     
  2. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    :werd: i think about this every day and :werd:
     
  3. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    if you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always gotten

    so if you're just "yourself", you'll just always be, and be WITH, yourself.
     
  4. Viper

    Viper Livin' la vida scrotum OT Supporter

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    How do you define "boring"?

    See, I used to think the same thing. I used to think that I should be striving to be some grand don juan, smooth and charming and woo the girls with my newly found charisma.

    Then I realized that that is a bunch of bullshit. All of it.

    You have your interests. You DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE THEM. If you are interested in boring shit, then by god FIND SOMEONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN THE SAME SHIT.

    The only time you should use the word "change" about yourself is when the following types of behaviours are present:

    1. Insecurity
    2. Jealousy
    3. Controlling
    4. Anger
    5. Shame

    Rid yourself of these. Become confident in who you are as a person, and fuck anybody who tells you you need to change to pick up a girl. Do you get my drift? Are you understanding what is meant by "changing yourself" here? You strive to remove your negative qualities. In the process you'll discover yourself picking up positive qualities automatically.

    Arm yourself with self-confidence. That's my motto. Don't let people make you feel like you are boring for having your own tastes. Stop pretending to be something you are not.

    The way you do this is by facing your ugly side. Being completely honest with yourself and discovering the not-so-attractive traits about yourself that turn people off and fixing them.
     
  5. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    "if it's meant to be it will work out"
     
  6. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Boring is someone who is not very active in life and just goes to work or school aiming for nothing more in life. Also, you can be a boring person and be charming, you just might be able to hide that you are boring for a little bit.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 29, 2007
  7. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    I absolutely, 110%, cannot fucking stand when I hear people say that.
     
  8. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    That's such a crock of shit.

    That one comes from the previous generations who were societally pressured to marry young and felt great shame from admitting a marriage to be failed.
     
  9. Viper

    Viper Livin' la vida scrotum OT Supporter

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    :rofl:

    The funny thing is, that it's true though guys. It really is.

    It's tired and overused, but it's fucking true. :rofl:

    (I'm being serious, not sarcastic here)
     
  10. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Which one is true? "If it is meant to be..."?
     
  11. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    are you kidding me? :ugh:
     
  12. Viper

    Viper Livin' la vida scrotum OT Supporter

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    Yeah.

    I know why people don't like that phrase. They think that it assumes you don't have to DO anything for it to work out. That's not true. You have a responsibility to make things work...but the premise that, IF YOU ARE TRYING, it being "meant to be" is true. It'll work out if you are really trying and you are compatible (which is how I define "meant to be"--compatible).
     
  13. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    Hey guys, wow :rofl:, like... it's really true. :rofl: I said so, so like, it must be true. :rofl:

    C'mon, :rofl: I have asian language character :rofl: in my AV. I must be :rofl: on to something.

    (I'm being serious, not :rofl: sarcastic here)

































    :ugh:
     
  14. Viper

    Viper Livin' la vida scrotum OT Supporter

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    Good post man. You convinced me.
     
  15. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    what do you mean?
     
  16. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I don't see "meant to be" the same way. To me it has a "leave it up to fate" feel
     
  17. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Exactly.
     
  18. Viper

    Viper Livin' la vida scrotum OT Supporter

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    Heh, that's still not what I meant.

    I guess I see that phrase differently than most people.

    But I suppose I believe in things like "fate". I believe that everything happens for a reason. I don't necessarily subscribe to the idea of "soulmates", but I kind of lean towards the idea that there is a "set" of people out there who are good for you, and that so long as you be yourself, don't settle for anything less than what you want, and you WORK towards finding happiness, that it will "work out", regardless of what "obstacles" you find in your path.
     
  19. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    "leave it up to fate" as in being passive
     
  20. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Yeah, your idea of it is not very passive.
     
  21. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Hey, the thread title is "bad advice" I think that what you quoted, is "commonly used bad advice" if you disagree, offer a counter point. Making faces doesn't further the conversation.

    The context I have always heard this advice used, is with religious or fate-ful sort of overtones.
    It implies that
    1. There is a "one" for me, and that I'm meant to "be" with this person
    2. Assuming one is true, I will find and "be" with this person, despite my efforts to the contrary, or lack of efforts towards the person.
    3. If I fuck up, or he/she fucks up, it isn't our fault, and we neednt learn from the situation, it just wansn't meant to be.
     
  22. Viper

    Viper Livin' la vida scrotum OT Supporter

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    I was just posting based off the quote "if it's meant to be, it will work out".

    I know people view that in a passive manner. I do not. That's what I was trying to say.
     
  23. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    No shit, or some fairy tale "oh it was never meant to be, woe is me" bullshit saying people use as a crutch.

    Can't fucking stand it.
     
  24. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :rofl: at me. I managed to forget we were in a thread for bad advice.
     
  25. eskarinna

    eskarinna New Member

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    Move on;
    time heals;
    lower / raise your expectations.

    all bunch of bs and this is why i think that way:

    move on - if you are not ready and still love someone you can't just move on. Usualy you break up thinking "hey i am free from all this i didn't like about him/her" and then it hits you. The only reason you were unhappy was because you love that person and you cared enough to see and get hurth by the little (or big) imperfections and you strived to fix them so you can enjoy a better relationship. Sometimes that relationship might not even be all that bad and be very easy to fix. Moving on should happenon its own and prior to becoming single because if you haven't done so you will be plain out misarable and chances are you will fall right back into a dissfunctional relationship.

    time will heal - right maybe if you have a broken leg. What time does is give you more chances to get used to being misarable. Leaving things unresolved just because may be in about few months or years you might forget them or not feel so strongly about them just creates baggage, insecurities, depression and sometimes might even kill the ability to ever love or trust someone again.

    Lower or raise your expectations - why this is just setling for something we are not realy intrested in. Having any expectations for that matter is stupid. Falling in love is unexpected and charming exactly because its something new and different. Having a list of what your partner shuld be or how he/she should look like is not much different than ordering from a menu. I am a firm believer in letting cubid hit you when you at least expect it and let go and fall in love with that certain someone who might not look as your favorite model woman but in fact has stollen your heart with everything else.
     

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