SRS Contacting an Ex...

[verbal]

Have any of you ever wanted to contact an ex just to see how they're doing?

I have an ex from about 5 years ago that was basically my first true love. I planned on marrying this girl but things just weren't right at the time-- I was doing contract work and didn't have a steady job. Long story short, we were together a year and she started pushing marriage. The pushing kept increasing. I would always assure her that I loved her deeply and wanted to marry her but I just wanted steady employment first. She never believed me and felt I didn't want to marry her. After a while of fighting because she didn't understand, I ended it. Shortly after that my mother died and we saw each other a few times then. She kept in touch with some of my family and I found out she was really heartbroken by me ending it. I heard she didn't date anyone for over a year after.

Fast forward a few years later. We share a mutual friend (the one that got us together in the first place) and we went out for her birthday one year. Ended up talking all night and getting together. We talked about getting back together. After a short time, she kept accusing me of not being truthful to her AND would do anything to try to make me jealous in attempt to win me back. It just pushed me away again like she did with pushing marriage and nothing ever came of it.

Right now I'm at this weird point in my life where I'm reflecting back at a lot of things in the past-- kind of like the movie High Fidelity, but different. The past few years I've had the strong desire to talk to her. NOT to get back together-- just to see how she's doing and how her life is.

About two years ago I spoke to the mutual friend and found out my ex was engaged, so I never went through with contacting her. If she was single, I would have. But now that she's married, I'm not going to go there. It's not right. But I just can't help the desire to chat with her. I was poking around on classmates.com and found her profile.

I'm not sure why I just told that whole story. I guess I needed to get it out. And I'm wondering if anyone else has felt this way.

 

[iwishyouwerebeer]

You must always get with girls who are desparate because other than your current girlfriend you are saying you dated another chick dying to push marriage on you after only dating a year

That being said, calling this girl would be a mistake. Play innocent all you want but I think deep down you want her attention and know you'll get it. Not to mention shit in your current relationship is going strange so you are turning to someone else.

It's a bad idea. The last time you saw each other you hooked up, and maybe that wouldn't happen now but calling her won't help anyone. If anything it will possibly give you old feelings for her (which would screw you up in the head) and it could hurt her and ruin any progress she has of fully moving on from you emotionally. You'll single-handedly be fucking up her progress all for your gain, and that is selfish.

You broke up with her. Move on with your life.

 

[99MustangGTman]

I've wanted to, but felt its not a good idea. One thing leads to another.... i you make the call, that kinda deal if you know what I mean. Better just leave it in the past. She's an ex for a reason.

 

[Ricky]

She's an ex and she's attempting to move on with her life.

You calling her might bring back some emotions from the past and can really screw with her potential marriage.

If i were you i'd wait until i was dating someone else, before attempting to do some sort of couples night out or something. I know it'll reassure her new husband that nothing is trying to go on behind his back.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[verbal]

You must always get with girls who are desparate because other than your current girlfriend you are saying you dated another chick dying to push marriage on you after only dating a year

Yeah. I never find this out until later. Ugh.

 

[7960]

And I'm wondering if anyone else has felt this way.

felt that way? yes.

contacted her? no.




nothing good can come from contacting your now-married ex. let it go.

 

[HoneyBunny]

Don't do it. Nothing good will come from it.

 

[CJPA]

You broke up with her. Move on with your life.

Cliff Notes above

 

[Dodger Blue]

I've thought of doing the same and she is married now too. But I wouldn't do it. Only reason I would do it would be to get back with to have some fun.

 

[Math-E]

Nah, I haven't had any desire to contact an ex. But it's funny that you posted this because today I decided to leave my IM on and got one from an ex. I just ignored it. I don't care how she's doing.

 

[verbal]

When I first read this thread ... I had to keep reminding myself that the details were such that the op was not my own ex. Esp. with the mixer in the av. Ugh. Still creeps me out some.

Could you elaborate?

If you don't want to do it here you could PM me.