So I've been having short psychotic episodes since I was about 18. Off and on, usually not too often. I'm 28 now and I've went 3 or 4 years before between having them. Well, I had a really bad one that got me put in the E.R. and committed about 3 months ago and ever since then I've been seeing people to "help". Psychologists, Therapists and Psychiatrists. The episodes only seem to be happening more often though. I've been on all of these in the last 3 months, in no particular order: Celexa Ativan Klonopin Seroquel Geodon Zyprexa Zyprexa-Zydis Prozac I wonder if all the talking and proactive steps (drug taking) is actually making the problem worse since it's just a mental thing... trying to fix it keeps my mind on it type deal. I really want this problem to go away though. When these episodes happen they scare the life out of me... I basically know for a fact that I'm dead and that I killed everyone I love. Everything in my environment seems to take on some kind of profound truth to confirm that I've killed myself and I can only stop it by killing everybody else. I do incredibly stupid things when they happen to try and get them to stop... like calling the dog groomer at 3AM to leave a voice mail saying they shouldn't trust me. Knocking on my neighbors door and telling him I'm dead and to stay away from me or he'll die too. Things that I obviously can't afford to happen. There are a couple things that are pushing me to quit seeing people and taking the drugs they are giving me: 1) My insurance stops picking up the tab at the end of the year. I'm not a rich person and seeing these people isn't cheap and the drugs are even more expensive. 2) I had an episode about 5 years ago that also got me sent to the E.R. and involuntarily committed to the hospital. I came out of that one and didn't see a single person or take a single drug and I only had a couple of very minor episodes for the next 4 years up until this year when they started ramping up. So do I keep talking about the problem and throwing money that I don't have at it or do I just ignore it and hope it goes away for a long while like it has in the past.