SRS Crazy family

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by paekj, Jun 29, 2005.

  1. paekj

    paekj New Member

    Feb 22, 2005
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    I've got a prob with my family. Little background: I started dating my wife 8 years ago in college. I suppose we were a little young so my family didn't like the idea. So my family would talk down to her and say sly comments about her and her family behind my back. This went on for 4 years before we got married. Then it continued. I was in denial that my family could ever do this, but then I realized that my family did say some pretty bad stuff about her and her family. And her family has been nothing but great to me and my family. They took me in as their own son. I'd never heard exactly what was being said about my wife until recently. My brother's wife has been saying that my wife's dad owned a whore house, he was in the mafia, and all sorts of other crazy ideas. Also, my wife has been nothing but nice to my family. She cooks for them, cleans for them, watches THEIR kids. And then they apparently said that my wife does all this because she's trying to win their affection!

    My problem is that I want to cut all ties with my family, but my wife does not agree to that. And I think that my family has been spreading rumors about my wife to our own circle of friends too. They've known my wife for 8 years now, and they still act like this. And they won't fess up to it. They just act like nothing is wrong.

    Anybody else have these kinds of probs? :uh:
  2. SE14

    SE14 Guest

    I have a hard time believe the only motivation your family has for being so mean to your wife is that you dated when you were too young.
  3. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

    Jun 3, 2005
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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    Well usually family comes first, but she is your wife and your new family now. So I would suggest talking to your family once again and if the situation doesn't get any better them let them know you will be forced to cut all ties if they do not grow up. Maybe they all have one specific issue against her that they are not telling you. Spreading rumors, and making up silly things like that show immaturity on their part and it has always been my beleif to surround yourself with those who make you want to be a better person. So, cut the fat.
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

    Nov 4, 2003
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    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    Your problem is not your family, it's YOU. Your wife is right. Running away is not the answer.

    You need to stand up and be a man. Tell your family that you will not stand for disrespect towards your WIFE. Your FUCKING WIFE for chrissakes. If you're not going to defend her, who will??

    Your family is also disrepecting you too. After all, YOU chose her as your wife, didn't you? Start respecting yourself and your wife/life partner.

    This is not acceptable behaviour from your family. Who should be the one to demand proper behaviour from's YOU.

    This is your battle. Your wife seems to be want to support you, and not just run away and hide. You can't hide forever anyways.

    Look, if they were cruel or very mean or whatever, then fine, there would be more justification to cut off contact.

    As as for getting your family to "fess up" ... what for?
    You ALREADY know they do this. You ALREADY know. You just want them to fess up, so basically you want them to stop themselves.

    You want them to acknowledge their bad behaviour, so hopefully they'll "realize" how bad they are and curb themselves, without you having to do much of anything. Right? Of course.

    This is just another form of avoidance, just like the 'running away' strategy. Basically anything to avoid taking a stand and facing this issue head-on, with strength and resolve and putting a powerful shield around your wife.

    What's gonna happen when you become a father? Will you teach your son to stand tall and do right in this world?
    Or when a bully picks on him, will you teach him to curl up into a tight little ball, and hope the bully "fesses up" to the teacher and sees the error of his ways?

  5. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Mar 4, 2005
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    I agree with Johan.

    One of my good girl friends called me in frustration just last night because she was treated poorly by her husband's family. Her frustration was not necessarily in the actions of her husband's mother, brother and sisters...but by her husband's unwillingness (or lack of care?) to stand up for her despite her mentioning these problems to him.

    If you care for your wife, it is your responsibility to set things right. Stand up for her as she deserves earn the respect she gave you in devoting her life to you.
  6. I felt the same way about my fiancee. I was on the otherside of the equation. Her family was absolutely abusive and vile towards me. They simply had no reason to be, and I was polite and composed for nearly 6 years of our relationship when I would deal with them. My fiancee rarely if ever defended me, and I resented her for it.

    I agree with Johan entirely. What you're doing is not right.

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