To make a VERY long story short I dated this girl for several years and things started getting crappy after a while due to the usual stuff... I got too lazy with the relationship, had a "whatever" attitude and wasn't really there for her. Naturally, she ended things and we were apart for a good 7 months. We ended up getting back together (she felt she was ready again) and we have now been dating again for ~ 3 months. Well, we had a huge fight the other day and she more or less ended things. I was really tore up the first time we broke up and I thought it would be easier this time around, but it wasn't. After a couple days of not talking we had a sitdown and we are going to give it one more week to see how things are and if all is still bad, I guess she wants out of this relationship for good. The main thing here though is that it really bothers her that I criticize her... and most times I don't even realize that I am doing it. She smokes 2 or 3 cigs a day and I always give her crap for it. She has friends that always screw her over and she constantly complains about them and I give her crap for even being friends with them to begin with. The thing I don't understand is why if I love her so much do I criticize her? I love this girl more than anything. She means the world to me and I would do absolutely anything for her..... but then why the hell do I judge her and criticize her the way I do? If I really love her to death then her having a few cigs a day shouldn't bother me that much. But for some reason I can't keep my damn mouth shut. This makes her feel bad about her self, makes her think I don't really even want her and makes her want to leave me. I have gotten a lot better than I used to be, but nonetheless I find myself being a jerk to her sometimes when I don't want to be. I want to be with her, and I REALLY REALLY don't want to blow this again. I lost her once and was lucky enough to win her back again, but now I am blowing it ALL OVER AGAIN I am about the lose the person I love more than anything because I do stupid little stuff that I really want to stop. I'm really not a bad guy. I treat her well, make her feel attractive and loved, etc... but she is emotional, has self esteem issues, and is pretty sensitive.... and I keep hurting her despite my effort to be what she needs. I have no doubt that I want to marry this girl and spend my life with her and she used to feel the same way.... but now when I say/do something that may come off as dickheaded-ish she wants out of the relationship immediately...and I guess I can't blame her. I want to be with her, but I am ruining it for myself! It angers me and confuses me. I don't want to lose her, and I don't want to go through the hell of the post-breakup sadness, but it almost seems like it is inevidable. We're giving it one more week, but when I look in her eyes it seems that I have already lost her. I can't really imagine life without her especially if I blew it a SECOND time.