Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, May 7, 2007.
Oh well, I printed it out at work on a work printer. But still. Think I can get the difference in money back? wtf marketing?
Yeah, I couldn't find that one on torrents until after I had paid for it
It's all over the interwebs.
Yes, I realize that now.
falconer have you approached any girls yet
Last weekend when I was at the bar with my friends. I was hanging out with a friend I hadn't seen in a while so I wanted to spend most of my time catching up with him, but I talked to a few girls throughout the night. My goal was just to talk to them for a a minute or two. I'm a fucking cool person but I'm boring as hell to talk to so I set my initial goals low. My immediate goal is not "pick up a chick and get laid" when I'm not even sure I can accomplish "hold the interest of a random girl for 60 seconds."
Assuming that wasn't sarcasm...
Without turning this into a long post, I think it's because the things that most people like to talk about, I find boring. Most people yammer on about some sports team (I really don't follow sports too much), or some shitty band, or whatever. If I was a sports fan I'd have 1000 instant friends everytime I went out to a bar (extra if it was a sports bar). But I'm not. I think it's funny that people get SO PISSED when their favorite team loses. The only people that should get pissed if a team loses are people whose financial wellbeing is directly affected by a loss. Your team lost. Do you still have a job? Can you afford dinner tomorrow? Ok. Chill the fuck out then. I'm in Chicago, and I watched the Superbowl with a bunch of my roommate's friends and they were punching the floor, swearing, kicking shit, etc., every time the Bears gave up a touchdown. Afterward my one roommate was just like "dude, I'm so pissed off I can't even talk right now" and he went to bed and slammed his door. Alright. You're cool To me, that is the stereotypical person and sportsfan, and I really can't relate to them on a social level.
Whoops, I didn't keep that post short.
I know. I try.
I don't like talking about the gym cuz I don't look like I go to the gym if I'm wearing clothes... so if I said anything I'd feel like a try hard or someone who's bragging. Kind of like someone who's rich and goes around telling other people about it. Plus, anyone who would talk about the gym already has their mind full of weightroom lore (things that people think are true that are not actually true) and I hate listening to it or trying to tell them why they're wrong. When I was a personal trainer at my university's gym I got sick of explaining to people why doing 1000 crunches a day won't give you a six pack. And when I was done, they still didn't believe me. So I don't wanna have that same conversation with random people.
But my original point is that I'm not charismatic enough to hold people's interests in talking about other subjects. People just wanna talk about their sports teams/whatever else. If I change the subject I do so unsuccessfully about 99% of the time and the other person thinks "I don't want to talk to this guy anymore."
good job talking to girls, but bro, you have the mystery book, it tells you what to do. dude opinion openers will get you full out 10 minute conversations if you want them to. that's not the proper way to use them, but if you have trouble striking conversation just milk an opinion opener for all its worth.
you CAN talk to people, dude. you have funny shit that happens to you day to day, just remember some of the best stories and tell them within the first few minutes. there, that simple. at any point in the convresation just be like OMG THE FUNNIES THING HAPPENED LAST WEEKEND and move into a story. you're probably afraid of interrupting people and changing threads, don't be. it doesn't even have ot be becaues of confidence, just understand that if someone is talking about some shit that you do'nt want to, and you let them finish their sentence, and just completely change the topic, they won't call you out on it. most people after just meetning someone aren't gonna callyou out on changing the topic
I guess. I guess I don't like small talk because I don't like the way I feel when someone small talks me... so I assume if I do it to someone else they are feeling equally as annoyed as I am.
A lot of times I've been walking with someone or whatever, and some weird random person comes up to us and starts smalltalking, and when they finally leave my friend looks me at like "uh... what a fuckin weirdo that person was." That's what I'm trying to avoid having happen to me. Being a weirdo is a huge DLV, and had that person ignored us and not said anything to us, they would've had a neutral social value instead of lowering themselves to "annoying."
I like opinion openers, actually.
also learn to make small talk fun. start throwing teases and misinterpretations out on girls when they're small talking you. you know what to do man. oh and kill the negativity. that's really the fundamental thing that's holding you back. the more you access a state the more you get addicted to being in that state, credit td. kill the negativity and not only will your pickups be better but you will straight up be a better and happier person. YOU WILL BE A BETTER PERSON. you are probably attached to the negative point of view because you think it's more "real" or some shit, or it puts you above others because they're not smart enogh to realize that life SUCKS and is PURPOSELESS deep down. but realism is another word for pessimim - credit tony robbins. on the real, it will improve your life. Take the positivity challenge, do a search on it
You're probably right about that one.
Nearly every pessimist/cynic I've met has been significantly above-average in intelligence. Nearly every person with naturally high charisma I've met has been of average intelligence. The majority of complete social retards I've met (worse than me) have had exceptionally high IQs. I'm not using this as an excuse... I'm citing it evidence to support a long rant I made in another thread a month or two ago.
Just googled it. I thought it was gonna be an online quiz. lol. Ok, I'll do it then.
1) scotoma. pygmalion effect. too lazy to explain now. you're a smart person though, clearly, you'll figure it out
2) so what? Being pessimistic isn't going to make you happy. No, there isn't any higher purpose to life. Period. Good. So, now that we have that over with, make the most of your life and make your life as good as you can make it. While those above-average intelligent cynics are crying themselves about how they hate their lives because there's no higher purpose, the "average" charismatic people are enjoying their lives and having sex with girls. There's no advantage to getting depressed over the deep meaninglessness. Embrace it. Understand that one day you're going to die, and what you do is ultimately inonsequential. Even if you leave a mark on the world appreciated after you die... you will still be dead. There is no higher purpose. Heroics are man's attempt to deny death. (The Denial of Death by Becker - really hard to get through the fucking book, but that last sentence i wrote is the main point of it. pretty interesting)
read the unbearable lightness of being - i don't even know if it has anyhting to do with this but it's a great fuckin' book. Understand, also, that there is a difference between having a logical understdnign of something vs. being emotionally affected by it. So while you can understand that there's no deeper purpose - you don't have to be a whiney bitch about it. Accept it and live your life. TAKE ADVANTAGE of the fact tha there's no higher purpose - make it your goal to live fully and extensively. and this even relates to picking up girls on a very surface level - there's a difference between understanding that she didn't like that last thing you said and logically knowing to just change your shit up, and being EMOTIONALLY affected by it mid-conversation so that you lose your cool and fuck up the pickup. ya dig?
I'm sure there is a higher purpose to life. I never said there wasn't.
I'll reply more, later, cuz I'm heading home from work now.
Got a link that's not a torrent?
just realized that the piece about "higher purpose" isn't that important to the argument. Just replace whatever the reason is for the person to be cynical or depressed in place of "no higher purpose." But as an aside, I still contend that there's no external higher purpose
I'm finally back at work where I have internet access again. Hehe.
Alright, when you say "higher purpose" I'm relating that to spiritual beliefs, and you're right, it's not really relevant to this argument.
someone hook a brotha up. im in a reading mood.
What you're saying reminds me of some stuff existential psychology is saying. Irving Yalom's Existential Psychotherapies is a book that you'd love IMO.
For the logical oriented people, there's this recent book called Handbook of Experimental Existential Psychology which shows plenty of stuff that's related to the existential side of life but based on scientific studies done in an experimental environment. That's quite strange but interesting, although Existential Psychotherapies is more fun to read (it's basically a theory along with some clinical cases).
andrew: there are four books at my local library by Yalom:
the theory and practice of group psychotherapy
when nietzche wept
I don't give a shit about psychotherapy; I am interested in philosophy and self development. Which of these, and in which order, should I read them?