So as I posted in my last thread... I've been dealing with off and on depression for several years. About three weeks ago, I went into another depressive episode that started hitting me really hard, and I was getting so depressed I was basically unable to do anything more than sit in bed and drag myself to class in a zombielike state. I had been working on a journal for the first week or so and went through deep analysis of what thoughts I was having, why I was having them, and what about them was making me depressed. It seemed to be working for a while and then it just stopped making me feel better. I suddenly started feeling worse not only for the reasons that started making me depressed but also for all the reasons I had dug up through writing in the journal. I felt worse and worse. Then, as I was in that lowest part of the depressed mood that I've been in, last monday my boyfriend broke up with me. It was just such bad timing. I feel like it has spiraled me so far into my depressed mood that I just can't do anything anymore. Everything was making me upset even before that happened, and now I just feel helpless. I am trying to see a psychiatrist but am having trouble getting an appointment. I know I'll be able to get through and see one, but I feel like every day is such a brutal thing to deal with in the meantime, I just want to take some sedatives and sleep the whole time until I can see someone. I can barely face the days anymore. Things that used to make me really happy now just make me feel slightly less unhappy. The things I used to do when I felt bad, to get myself in a good mood, have barely any effect at all. I guess right now what I need is just emotional support. I've been basically giving this same spiel to all of my friends, and as much as they try to reassure me and help me, it never has any effect. My ex-boyfriend does not even know I've been dealing with depression. I've been able to hold up the facade around him the whole time since I started this depressive episode. I used to hold up the facade around everyone but I can't do that anymore. Sorry... that was just a really long late night upset rambling but that's basically all I feel capable of at this point.