Did I just get friendzoned on the phone?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Jun 14, 2007.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Background Cliff's:

    A while ago:
    I find a girl from high school on myspace that I haven't seen in at least 8 years. I msg her. She replies with "omg, my middle school crush!" We chat a bit. I'm in a LTR at the time. Nothing happens.

    Recently:
    We start talking again on myspace. It's one of those "why haven't we gone out for drinks yet?" We email a few more times. She gives me her phone number and we agree to plan something.

    So we talk tonight for a while on the phone. I know long conversations are bad but we haven't seen each other in like 10 years. It's going awesome and everything was flowing smoothly. We joke a lot, I neg her a few times and it has good results, etc. Often, one of us would say something and the other person was like "omg, I know exactly what you mean..." etc. At one point I was like "alright, I can't even talk to you; we're too similar!!" (I think that one is from Mystery or Style). She laughed. Finally she's like "so are we going to go meet up or what?" We're both busy as hell but we realize we're both free on Sunday so we're going out this Sunday.

    You know how some girls are natural "players" and pull game on guys, sometimes subconsciously, and do so very well? I do NOT get that kind of vibes from this girl at all. She's very intelligent and logical and doesn't seem to be hugely into the social scene (she was telling me how she hardly ever goes out, etc). I'll explain why this may be relevant in a minute.

    So here's why I'm wondering if I just got FZed: Near the end of the phone call, she's talking about how she's "totally looking forward to Sunday." Another similarity between us gets brought up, and she says "omg, you're like my ideal friend."

    That's the kiss of death right?

    Normally I would think yes... however given her lack of understanding of social dynamics or game playing, I'm not entirely sure if she actually meant it like that.

    She concluded the phone call with "we should definitely stay in touch much more often."

    Now, I have had two LTRs start off almost EXACTLY like this before, with the exception of the "friend" comment. What I mean is, back in my AFC days, I had some LTRs that lasted over 1 year begin with long phone calls and finding out we had 11ty billion things in common over the phone. I know that's entirely counter-game strategy, but I'm just saying it's happened before. I should also point out that in the cases I'm referring to, the girls were also very intelligent and didn't really play "games" like most chicks do.

    Ok, I'm sure I made this way too long but that's my story. What does the vag think?

    btw, she's totally hot and she's a lawyer now :x:



    Oh, I have a date Friday (with a former FWB, so it kinda doesn't count), Sat night I'm going out downtown to party with my friend and hopefully practice opening chicks, and then Sun I have my date or whatever this is with this girl. Anyway, for Sun, I'm trying to find a way to slip drinks into the mix since we were originally going to "go out for drinks." But it's going to be like Sun afternoon... probably not the right time for drinks.

    At any rate, I should hopefully get a lot of practice this weekend.

    Alright Vag, tell me if I have a chance with this girl based on preliminary information. Maybe she wants to meet me to see if I'm awesome enough to date (obviously I am).
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2007
  2. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    completely ignore the friend part. a 'nice' girl has to say friend, and it is completely meaningless. if you want to get into the who pua shit, im 100% sure one of the big names recomeneds the use of 'friend' to bond and disarm or something along those lines.

    game on. proceed as planned.
     
  3. Lantis745

    Lantis745 Member

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    She seems really excited about seeing you. I don't think you have a problem. Best of luck!
     
  4. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    stop thinking. if she shows up to meet you, she's interested in some way (sure, could be friends, but i doubt it from what im reading).

    you arent friendzoned until you TRY. right now you're just speculating
     
  5. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    I agree. Ignore it and continue.

    Also, I agree with Viper. Get off of the computer and spend more time with women. There comes a point where you have to stop overthinking things and just do it. Take action.
     
  6. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you sound like you are doing great and you don't need more help. Just for future reference and to give you one less thing to worry about...

    nice girls will ALWAYS say things in a way that leaves no confusion that they are not 'sluts' because sluts are bad and they are nice. They barely even admit to themselves that they want nothing more then to be absolutely ravaged. Never take any of this silliness seriously. Later on when you two are eating breakfast in your bed, it can be all your fault, all your idea, and it 'just happened' :rofl: You cool with that? thought so.

    Even girls that are pretty cool with their sexuality have these pangs of guilt over being 'slutty' often right before you seal the deal. questions like "what will people think of me?" and "does this make me a bad person/slut" are where this stuff comes from, all you should hear is the part that she wouldnt be trying to convince herself shes not a slut unless she wanted to do something 'slutty'. Im sure you have read tucker max, and hes right about this.... 99% of the time, when a girl says "i'm not going to have sex with you" before you push for sex but doesnt drop her energy/vibe, it means shes going to have sex with you :rofl:
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Thanks for the replies. I'm going to brush up on a few things before we go out so I have some random stuff to do (the cube, trust test, etc.). However, assuming it goes like our phone call last night, I doubt we'll run out of things to talk about.
     
  8. Falconer, you're getting out, congratulations. Now stop all that PUA cheesy stuff and show the girl your actual personality, she may actually like you. Don't over think things and be naturally yourself. Remember, no one is watching you.
     
  9. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Do what you gotta do for now man, but ween yourself off that crap asap. if you absolutely must have canned material, can your own material.
     

  10. Try to fuck her as planned. If she insists on the "friend" part, just stop talking to her.
     
  11. Tucker Max :bowdown:

    "I hope they serve beer in hell" is a classic
     
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Tucker Max cracks me up :rofl:

    edit - I heard he got a $300k advance for his next book :eek3:
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    One thing she mentioned a few times was how she doesn't party much, and she was telling me about her place and specifically mentioned how she is paying too much for a really nice place because "it's not like I throw parties or bring random guys over or anything."

    Is that dropping hints that she's not social? Is she trying to subcommunicate that she isn't a slut to DHV herself to me?
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    You're right.
     
  15. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :bigthumb:
     
  16. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Seriously... as time goes on, I realize more and more to pay less attention to a woman's bullshit(stories,claims, whatever), and to move forward with what I want to do. If she doesn't want me, she doesn't want me. Onto the next one.
     
  17. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I got a txt from her tonight that said something to the effect of "it was fun talking to you the other day. I just realized I'm like the worst daughter ever and I forgot tomorrow was father's day. Can we reschedule?"

    I replied with "omg, ur right! Ok. A reschedule is acceptable. However, if you don't pick someplace awesome then your spot in my top 8* may be in jeopardy."

    She replied with "ok, I promise! ttys!"

    I don't consider this a flake out because Sunday is Father's Day.

    * She's in my top 8 on myspace.
     
  18. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    well played
     
  19. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I just enjoyed reading your guys' little debate there :big grin:

    I dunno. If it was an excuse like "I have to wash my hair" or "I have to floss my cat's teeth" I'd be like :squint:, but it was a holiday and some people make a big deal out of that stuff.

    Regardless, I'm not going to contact her again until she contacts me.
     
  20. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    I completely disagree with viper. In this situation there is no reason to expect that her interest would be high enough for her to squeeze in a date on a day that normal people spend with their families.


    My whole family made a family dinner on the grill. relaxed for a while, then went to a 9:30pm movie with my dad and sister. I do not think this is unusual or excessive, yet it consumed the whole day.

    I consider it on the same level of a birthday or something. I'm not blowing off my dad for a girl.
     
  21. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    no one is disagreeing with you on this, this issue is that I believe that there is no reasonable expectation of high interest here. They havnt had a real interaction in years. How interested are you expecting her to be?
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Update:

    I never heard back from her, during the next week, so I decided to try something I read somewhere, or maybe I modified a concept I read somewhere. I can't remember.

    Anyway, I sent her a myspace message with a subject of "twin" and said something along the lines of "do you have a twin? Cuz i met someone last weekend who looked exactly like you!"

    I didn't want to be a chode and email her with "uh, hi, so did you want to still go out then?" or whatever, so I sent her that message instead which was designed to make her think I'm out and about, being awesome and social, and meeting women who compare easily with her. Obviously I didn't meet anyone :rofl:

    So she replies back with something along the lines of "I'm insulted! Altho she may have been blessed with my good looks, I'm sure she didn't possess my intelligence..." or something like that. Then she said she was going on vacation the following week and wanted to get together when she got back. I said sure.

    So the next week goes by.

    Then yesterday, I get an email from her talking about how she went to Florida with her family or something, some talk about money, how me and her should retire (inside joke), and then said something like "so when are you going to grace me with your presence?"

    So maybe it's back on. She also mentioned that during the week she was on vacation, she did "only" 20 hours of work. So I guess lawyers are busy as fuck, and maybe she really does hardly have any time to email and stuff.

    I'll keep the Vag updated.

    I'm the prize. :big grin:
     
  23. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :bowdown: nice move. anyone know whos bit it is?

    :bigthumb:
     
  24. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Good stuff. I wouldn't bug out about her not contacting you too much. She's a lawyer and lawyers are ALWAYS busy. Even the bad ones :rofl:

    Good luck and remember when the next date gets made, make it so you can have drinks like on a Saturday night. None of that sunday afternoon BS.
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Righto. Friday or Sat night is my goal. Sat would prolly be better.
     

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