Pretty much just venting here, but if you have some feedback, please feel free, I'm sure I could use it. So, I've been pretty unhappy with my marriage these days. It looks like I've been unknowingly wanting her to change since before we got married (D'oh), but it's been becoming a bigger and bigger issue with me having things stay the same. I'm pretty much dissatisfied with things. Had a bigish talk with the wife last night and she pretty much came out and said she is not interested in making any of the changes that are important to me. We're about 3 1/2 yrs in. For example, she doesn't sleep at night (Watches TV) and wakes up about 2-4pm, right before I get home, and does nothing with her days. She can't find a job right now (trust me), but I'm still constantly annoyed she has no motivation or will to do anything unless she 'has to' IE: get up for work. She said even when we relocate, the only way she would ever get up before noon is if she had a job that 'made' her. In contrast - I wake up between 5am and 7am for work every weekday, and around 9am on weekends. I'm always busy with reading, OT, working out, Pimsleur, or whatever else. I don't have enough hours in the day. She only has one hobby (diving), and very little college, so the prospect of a real 'career' is still likely years away for her - she doesn't have any real goals defined for the long term. I'm not where I want to be - but still have a full scholarship and a 70k+ job. Another big issue for me, she has gone up from 125-130 to about 190 since we got married. She has zero desire to do any sort of physical activity (in retrospect, I guess she never did and her metabolism just changed) - this is another thing I wrongly assumed she would change after seeing how healthy I am, still, I don't want her to be a super model, just back to how she looked when we got married. She is pretty much happy with herself like this. I guess that confidence a good thing - but I'm not at all happy. It's a struggle to still be attracted to her. When we do have sex, it's just because we're married, I would never be interested in her if we weren’t. This sounds pretty harsh, but it's true. In contrast - I'm lifting 4 days a week and running or playing sports the other 3. Physical activity is super attractive and a big part of my life. So, for awhile I've just been hanging around hoping she would get passionate about some things in life, decide she doesn't want to be fat, or something, thinking it's just a matter of time before she 'sees the light' - and then she tells me she is content with everything. Whoops. I'm just not really sure what to do at this point. She's a very loving person, and has always been super loyal to me. I don't want to lose her - but I'm not sure I can be happy with someone who doesn't seem to have any of the same passions I do - I'm not happy now after all. I don't want to spend another 10 years waiting for a change that’s never coming. I'm just really looking for a third option aside from divorce or sucking it up...but I'm not sure there is one. Thanks for reading.