LOVE Disturbed by your SO's previous sex life?

Toxica

Active Member
Mar 10, 2008
1,993
IN
Is there a limit to how many partners your SO has had before you give the ":ugh:" face?

How much is too much? How many is too little? And what's the right amount range? Or do you even care about it?



Also, if you can (don't have to), state your age.
(For this reason: Somebody could think 10 is a lot and they are only 18 years old, but 10 wouldn't be so much compared to someone who is about 40 or 50 years old. So stating your age would make a bit of a difference.)
 

Viper

Livin' la vida scrotum
Sep 22, 2004
76,571
In a van down by the river
I've had both ends of the spectrum.

One was a virgin when we got together (supposedly) and I was thrilled at the idea.

Another had like 17 or 18 partners (her first answer was like 16, then she kept remembering others :hsugh: :rofl:) and it didn't bother me too much. What bothered me was that she didn't really have a firm grip on how many she had. :hsugh:

To me the most important things are:

1. Hasn't cheated in the recent past (say, within the last 5 years AT LEAST).
2. Doesn't have an STD.

Everything is pretty much immaterial at this point.
 

iwishyouwerebeer

you shut your cunt
Sep 1, 2006
31,941
I dated a guy a few years older than me who I found out had been with 20 women before me. I think it bugged me for about a second but he was a very responsible guy and was way into safe sex so honestly after that I didn't give a shit. He was good looking, smart and great in bed, so I didn't feel like judging him for being clever enough to score 20 other women :dunno:

Dating a virgin at this point would honestly probably throw me off depending on his age but I can't see myself not giving him a shot (same with one who had had 1 partner).

My bf and I have the same number, so I certainly can't judge him because I don't dislike my own number :mamoru:

BTW, here are some other threads on the matter:
http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3418304
http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2983137
http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3238787
http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1892871
http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2890228
 

Vysion

New Member
Aug 30, 2003
4,694
Twin Cities, MN
A typical girl is going to have more sexual partners than a typical guy.
While a majority of guys go sexless or in spurts, there are a handful of guys that just have the natural talent to drop panties.

The problem is guys and girls both lie about it. Girls lie to downplay how many partners they've had and guys lie to make it sound like they have had more.

Unless you hookup with a really innocent girl, typically she will have had more partners than you. That's why I don't want to know how many a girl has had because I know she's with me now.
 

Viper

Livin' la vida scrotum
Sep 22, 2004
76,571
In a van down by the river
A typical girl is going to have more sexual partners than a typical guy.
While a majority of guys go sexless or in spurts, there are a handful of guys that just have the natural talent to drop panties.

The problem is guys and girls both lie about it. Girls lie to downplay how many partners they've had and guys lie to make it sound like they have had more.

Unless you hookup with a really innocent girl, typically she will have had more partners than you. That's why I don't want to know how many a girl has had because I know she's with me now.

You raise a decent point.

A guy's competitive nature tends to feel at a "loss" when he has less partners than the girl he is with. Most men are either insecure about it or, like you, they deal with it by burying their head in the sand.
 

Televandalist

Member
Aug 7, 2008
403
You raise a decent point.

A guy's competitive nature tends to feel at a "loss" when he has less partners than the girl he is with. Most men are either insecure about it or, like you, they deal with it by burying their head in the sand.

.
 

Vysion

New Member
Aug 30, 2003
4,694
Twin Cities, MN
You raise a decent point.

A guy's competitive nature tends to feel at a "loss" when he has less partners than the girl he is with. Most men are either insecure about it or, like you, they deal with it by burying their head in the sand.

I wouldn't call it burying my head in the sand... More like out of sight, out of mind...

I can't feel insecure about what I don't know. Sometimes knowing too much can hurt you more than not knowing anything at all.
 

Math-E

Well-Known Member
Oct 11, 2002
62,190
Lakeview
I would :ugh: at anything more than around 20 but it's not a deal breaker. It's not something that I would obsess over.
 

GammaRadiation

Well-Known Member
Feb 15, 2007
29,256
Random Location.FL
19

For me it isnt a set number. It's how often they switch to new partners and how long they've been sexually active vs how many people they've slept with.

If she lost her virginity at 17 and is now 18/19 with 8+ partners I'll get a little. :hsugh:

I've been sexually active for 4 years and I've had 4 partners, two of which were one night stands.
 

BATMANs

Active Member
Oct 23, 2003
1,513
Silicon Valley
yeah, I was.

She went on some fuck spree and banged 3 dudes in less than a month.

1 of the guys is a married man and she didn't have any remorse.

She is a size queen, even though she can't take all of him, her biggest one yet.

I think she is bi-polar or something.

Can someone sexplain why women would like a big penis even though they can't take it all?

Is it a pathological mental thing?
 

Vysion

New Member
Aug 30, 2003
4,694
Twin Cities, MN
yeah, I was.

She went on some fuck spree and banged 3 dudes in less than a month.

1 of the guys is a married man and she didn't have any remorse.

She is a size queen, even though she can't take all of him, her biggest one yet.

I think she is bi-polar or something.

Can someone sexplain why women would like a big penis even though they can't take it all?

Is it a pathological mental thing?

It's because society has a fascination with large penises, even though most women aren't that deep to begin with...
 

Vysion

New Member
Aug 30, 2003
4,694
Twin Cities, MN
That's called burying your head in the sand, dude. :dunno:



I disagree wholeheartedly. I think the more you know about a person, the more intimacy you can build with them.

How can you build more intimacy when you know that she's fucked 25 guys in a 5 year period and you've only been with 3?
 

Viper

Livin' la vida scrotum
Sep 22, 2004
76,571
In a van down by the river
How can you build more intimacy when you know that she's fucked 25 guys in a 5 year period and you've only been with 3?

You're right, you probably CAN'T build intimacy and now know that you probably shouldn't waste your time trying to build a long term relationship with her. Saves you an ass load of time. :dunno:
 

Vysion

New Member
Aug 30, 2003
4,694
Twin Cities, MN
You're right, you probably CAN'T build intimacy and now know that you probably shouldn't waste your time trying to build a long term relationship with her. Saves you an ass load of time. :dunno:

My point is, what does it matter to your intimacy, how many partners either of you have had in the past?

You should be able to build intimacy with or without knowing.
 

Vysion

New Member
Aug 30, 2003
4,694
Twin Cities, MN
Everyone always wants to know yet promises that they wont freak out... but once they find out they freak out anyways... so why even worry about it. The past can't be changed.
 

bjonesy77

New Member
Oct 2, 2006
11,428
Cincinnati
I'm 21 and have had technically 8 (one was a drunken encounter that lasted all of 15 seconds before we realized what exactly we were doing. But I would be a little bugged if i were to date a virgin, mostly because I'd feel bad if I took it. I'd be thrilled if I dated a girl who had a number larger than mine, it just means she could teach me a thing or 2.
 

vodkacollins

New Member
Apr 2, 2008
1,777
CdM, CA
19

For me it isnt a set number. It's how often they switch to new partners and how long they've been sexually active vs how many people they've slept with.

If she lost her virginity at 17 and is now 18/19 with 8+ partners I'll get a little. :hsugh:

I've been sexually active for 4 years and I've had 4 partners, two of which were one night stands.

i agree with the bolded.
 

Viper

Livin' la vida scrotum
Sep 22, 2004
76,571
In a van down by the river
My point is, what does it matter to your intimacy, how many partners either of you have had in the past?

You should be able to build intimacy with or without knowing.

The whole POINT of intimacy involves sharing as much about your lives as you can, though. No, you shouldn't just ask each other, but should the subject come up (which it usually eventually does in one form or the other), you shouldn't turn away from it either.

When my marriage ended, I took on a "NO SECRETS" policy, and that policy proved to propel me further than I even went IN my marriage, with the relationship that I had out of my marriage.

Everyone always wants to know yet promises that they wont freak out... but once they find out they freak out anyways... so why even worry about it. The past can't be changed.

Then learn how to not "freak out" when you hear the number. If you freak out when someone tells you their number, that's a sign of an insecurity within you (unless the number is obviously ridiculous of course).
 

lauren

Well-Known Member
Apr 11, 2005
39,587
Palo Alto, CA
here's what i do.


first, they fill out a background/personality/compatibility survey (place of birth, family life, education, etc) that assesses points (1-5) based on each answer depending on how close to my ideal they answer. from that i get an index value and update my running background std comparison chart. then, i take the number of sexual partners they've have, multiply by three, and that gives me their adjusted sexual partner number (asn).

now, look at your asn vs index chart to see what the acceptable corresponding sexual partner number is for that level of compatibility. if the asn eqaul or lesser than the max alloted for that specific index compatibilty, i proced. if it's greater, i walk.
 

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