First I had asked or told my boyfriend to pull my hair during sex. I think the first time we were in the middle of the act and he kind of had a little laugh and did it. After that I had told him to do it. Now if he does it its not really that hard. He is getting better about it. Its not just a tug tug anymore, he wraps it around his hands finally so he is getting better about that. I wish I wouldnt have to tell him when to do it to. I finally did the reverse cowgirl position (I didnt do it before because I thought it would be weird) but turns out I like it A LOT and it would have been a perfect time for him to pull it and jerk my head back . I also have asked him to spank me. But during sex he wont spank me hard. When we are just sitting around he will pin me down and spank me until I am beat red. I would really love to have a big beautiful bruise left on my ass after sex, but again I think he is scared he is going to hurt me. Another problem is he thinks this stuff is "freaky" and to me its not, there is stuff that I would like to try, but I dont know how to get him to open up. Some cum got on my hand after he finished off in my mouth and I showed him, and he made a slurping noise so of course me being me I licked it off and then he made a "ugh" noise so I asked if he thought that was sick or something and he said yeah kind of so I laughed and went into the bathroom. So my question(s)..How do I get him to open up and get to where I want us to be? This is nothing to me but it seems like something to him so... and Other than saying your not hurting me is there any other way to assure him thats what I really want?