My dad is dying of lung cancer. I haven't spoken to him in a few years, basically because the last thing he said to me was "Your mother was very disapointed in you when she died." Anyway, we haven't gotten along since I was a very little kid, and now I don't know what to do. He lives at his house with my younger brother, who basically watches over him. The problem is that I can't summon the courage to phone him or go visit. It is hard to explain just how deep my anger goes with my father. I want to fix things between us, but I just can't do it. Because of this I've been feeling very guilty and anxious for the past few months. Every day I feel bad for at least a part of the day. I don't even know why I'm posting this, because people will just tell me to go talk to him and I know that I won't be able to. Sometimes I just wish he would die already so I could move past all this. I seriously hate my life right now.