Last night, my girlfriend and I decided to call it quits. It was probably the toughest decision I've made. Funny how you picture yourself with someone and suddenly it's over. God damn, I don't even know where to begin now. My life is so routine with 2 jobs that making a lifestyle change is going to be difficult right away. I mean, 4.5 years...fuck. I've already began moving my stuff out of our apartment, which I will terminiate the lease, fees or not. This wasn't a messy breakup, it was very mutual and I truly hope we can become friends. We'd probably make better friends than partners anyway because there were some things about her that irritated me to no end. But, it's gonna take a lot of time. I'm a pretty emotional guy and this has just been a wrecking ball. I'm affectionate, she is not. I never knew how much affection meant to me until I didn't really have it. I realize we've both been in denial a long time. So, I'm relieved in a way that it's over, but I'm soooooo depressed because we had built so much together. We really had a great time for a few years. I'm trying to keep positive, but it's hard.