Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Mar 18, 2007.
i dont think its too much to ask for.
few things i'd never do. though then again i'm not trying to rico suave do it all for women.
things i'd have trouble doing
-never swearing, personally i think cursing shows passion that can't be matched otherwise
-never speaking loudly, i dunno if this is talking about all loud talking, or only shouting at people (literally), but if it's the former... talking loudly is indicative of excitement, enjoyment, and having a good time, if all my friends and girls i hung out with talked like we were proper brits sitting arounda table whispering to eachother.... that'd be boring as hell.
-always open doors, i'll hold it open if i get there first, but if i dont, i'm not going to make a big show about me jumping ahead of her to grab a door. i'm not going to tell her to stay in the car, walk around, and open the door for her.
-stand when women enter/leave the room, just silly and awkward.
there is such a thing as being overly polite.
I think the stand when women enter or leave would be a little awkward as I don't think I've ever seen anyone do it.
A lot of stuff is just polite things you should do, but I often have trouble with some like never swearing. I actually think people who don't swear are noticed, where are people who do kind of blend in.
I think some of that stuff only applies in really formal situations. (The standing when women enter and exit, etc).
The other stuff (not cursing, not spitting, not raising your voice) is just good manners, both for men and women.
i am apparently not a gentleman. im not always polite, i curse, i spit when there's a bad taste in my mouth (outside, or if theres a sink nearby), and i dont respect people just because they're older.
oh also that chivalry stuff is lame, except for maybe to ask if she needs anything.
I do a lot of them, but some just seem to awkward, such as standing every time a woman enters/exits a room. Also, I've just found it clumsy to help a woman with her chair. I'll pull it out, but I'd think it rude to push her towards the table.
The big one for me though is being polite. I do strive to be courteous, but I define politeness as attempting to maintain an illusion of well-being regardless of the circumstances. I'm not going to lie to someone if they ask my opinion, but I will give my opinion tactfully and constructively.
If you watch Casino Royale, Bond stands up as Ms. Lynd starts to leave the table, I can't place where the scene is in the movie but they're both in a restaurant.
I think a lot of those things are situational
Things that should always be done:
Always be polite
Do not lose your temper
Do not stare
Do not interrupt
Do not speak loudly (assuming that they are talking about arguing loudly with people and not just talking loudly because you're excited or something)
Always open doors (if you are there first and hold the door for the people after you, both men and women. No need to run ahead to every door so that you can always open it though)
These things should be done in formal situations but if you are just hanging out with friends then they aren't really necessary:
Do not curse
Do not spit
Do not laugh at others' mistakes (You shouldn't make fun of people for big/important mistakes but if I or my friends make a silly mistake then there's nothing wrong with laughing about it)
Remove your hat indoors
Wait for seating before eating
Put on her coat
Help with her seat
Give up your seat
Stand at attention
Give her your arm
Ask if she needs anything
Respect your elders-This one seems a little silly to me. I respect people if they respect me, I'm not going to be respectful of all old people just because they are old.
you know... i have a friend who's from the south. his parents taught him to treat women like goddesses and with respect. most of u guys would not agree with this... but its common sense to say stuff like 'yes maam' or open doors for women. i am ANGRY when i see a guy just slam a door in my or other women's face without holding it open. it really is that simple. its such a sweet gesture, why cant it be done? also, he was also brought up to pay for everything... now that is controversial
i believe it was when theyre in the train when they first meet. i just watched it 2 days ago
i think these gestures would still be done today if it wasn't for the feminist movement.
and not the "right to vote" movement, but the "i can hold my own door," movment.
If a guy treated me like this I would leave...fast.
I am not a fucking child...do not treat me like one. Cuss with me, laugh at fat people with me, wrestle with me, tell me if i have a booger or a pimple or i smeared mascara on my face. If you are angry with me, tell me, we will fight it out and be better for doing so. I make more money than anyone my age, i can pay sometimes.
Some of these things are cute on very rare occasion IE put on coat
and of course, open the damn door if you get there first, ill extend the same courtesy.
But in general, i cant stand men treating me like i'm a fucking child.
shit's telling guys to be butlers for every single person with a vagina. it's bonkers.
is wrestling as far as it goes or do you spar too?
i love it when a girl tries to kick my ass
I will always try not to curse around a stranger, but as soon as the woman says a swear, that rule goes straight out the window.
only 7/18 were female specific.
my point is still valid. im not entirely sure what your point is, however.
point is, it's not.
I wouldn't be caught dead following most of those rules
those 7 rules that you pointed out yourself, are the ones i was talking about. yes, telling a guy to stand up everytime a chick walks into a room, pull out her chair and push it back in, "give her your arm," put her coat on for her etc, it's all sounding very much like telling men they should be butlers for women. it doesnt matter that there were 13 rules in total because those seven were still there, and they were the ones i was addressing.
that's exactly how I feel
with you there