I'm questioning how sensitive I am about ex's. Some background info: Generally, I don't have any problems with my ex-gf's. I don't communicate with them or hold any grudges against any of them - nor do I bring up the topic of ex's, as I don't feel it's necessary or fair to current/future partner(s). I don't mind general discussion if needed, but in-depth info is too much info to me. I believe I'm experienced and mature enough to understand that my current/future partner(s) have lived lives before meeting me. I don't have a problem with that. I haven't been cheated on, at least to my knowledge. Current: I'm with a woman who I care about, and we're planning on a vacation sometime soon. We're both adults, and, for the most part, act and treat each other accordingly. We've had our good and bad times together, and are just recovering (but well) from a bad phase (work/school/$ stresses). This vacation is well deserved for both of us, and we think it'll be a great thing to enjoy together. I've met my gf's ex-bf several times many many years ago. He is from an area relatively close to our vacation destination, and they went on vacation in that area just before their breakup nearly a year and a half ago, before her and I started dating. I don't have anything against him, my gf really enjoyed that vacation, and I'm glad she has fond memories to look back upon. My problem right now is about my sensitivity to topics that include ex's. I'm finding that although her and her ex-bf are long finished, she talks about and references her previous vacation with her ex-bf casually when talking about and planning our upcoming vacation. It wasn't an issue not long ago, but as we plan and look into it more, it's been brought up more. I've spoken to her about my feelings regarding the topic of ex-bf/gf's. I've discussed with her that it bothers me, and I'm a strong mental visualizer - which magnifies how much it bothers me each time. I'm sexually experienced, but in terms of relationships, i'm not all that confident/secure. I do still want to be with my gf. But with the stuff that goes on in my head, it bothers me to an extent that stresses me out a lot. I don't mind bringing it up in a discussion with my gf, but it may lead to a bigger argument, which might cause resentment of our vacation locale before we even depart. I know i'll still need to discuss it with my gf, but am wondering if I'm overreacting or are too sensitive when it comes to the topic of ex-bf/gf's. Thoughts? ***Update*** Well. Scratch all that. Turns out her and her ex-bf weren't as "long finished" as I thought. We were talking about the trip just tonight, and I stumbled upon one of her emails to her ex she wrote during a rough patch at the end of January, this year. Some exerpts: "I have no idea what the purpose of this email is.* I've been wanting to talk to you every single day since the last email I sent.* I think about you so often, and*constantly wonder if you realize how much I think about you and how much I miss you.* I also check my hotmail every day, hoping to see an email from you, even though I told you to leave me alone, and because you are such a considerate*person, I knew you would respect my request.* sigh." "But every day I have something else I wish I could tell you, and it's all building up so much I feel like I'm going to explode.* I wish I could pour my heart out to you and tell you all my problems and fears, and that I could just hide from the world in your arms and know everything will be OK, like I used to when we were together." "Ugh... I don't know what I'm trying to say.* I don't know what I'm doing anymore.* And I don't know what I want, although I keep thinking that what I want is life with you again.* But am I forgetting all the bad stuff?* What were all our problems?* Our differences?* Why did you break up with me?* Has anything changed, or have you just gotten lonely enough to settle for me again?* Do you remember how much I used to complain about stuff, how long I spent on my hair, how much I loved to lie in the sun and dance to bad music at the bar?.* Wouldn't you still hate these things?* These are answers I'm hoping to be clearer on after my river float.* But I wish you were floating in that river with me." "I hope one day we can sit down and tell each other EVERYTHING.* The funniest/weirdest thing for me right now is how I feel like I keep getting "signs" that I should be back with you.* Like one of your stupid punk rock songs will somehow sneak it's way into my playlist and start playing just as I'm driving in my car*crying thinking about you.***Or when I look up a website about surfing, El Salvador will pop up as the latest and greatest place to be.* Every day seems to give me some sort of slap in the face like that.* Of course I know I'm just looking for these things because you're weighing so heavily on my mind.* But whatever. It's more interesting to pretend they're signs.* I also had a not-so-funny but still funny realization yesterday that some of the biggest problems I'm having with the guy I'm living with right now are the same complaints you had about me.* It's like fate came along to say: "You were a selfish bitch.* Here, live with someone like that for a few months and you'll see what it's like".* So, now I know what it was like for you.* Ironic?* Yes.* Potentially beneficial to our relationship should we ever get back together?* Definitely!* Take it as another sign?* Why not?!" "I love you.* Please don't hate me for sending this if I sent it.* Yes, I'm still in that other relationship.* Yes, I'm in Edmonton because I need to make a decision on it and not be swayed by guilt or getting stuck in daily habits.* No you don't need to reply or respond to this email in any way.* I'm just venting and you're basically taking the brunt of it.* I hope you undertand.* But I know you do.* I don't know how I know, but I do." It's 1:30am and she's packing up her shit to move out.