LOVE Fate?

Eddie Brock

New Member
Jan 4, 2008
402
New Jersey
So I've been living in SoCal for about a little over 2 years now and I recently ran into an old high school acquaintance from back east who's been living here for about the same duration. Naturally, since we knew ea. other from the east coast and we live in neighboring towns we decided to meet up and take a hike. While being on the hike and having lunch, we really got a feel for ea. other. We had amazing conversation about relationships (We both just recently got out of long term relationships), we reminisced about H.S., our home state, and just casually spoke about life and how random it is that we bumped into ea other 3,000 miles away. Later on that night, she texted me saying how it was nice to be able to catch up, how great of a night she had, and how she'd call me when she got back from her week vaca. :wiggle:
Casually browsing Facebook, I noticed that she was all hugged up with this dude and it had comments like "You guys are cute together" etc. So I was like :squint: and said "F it"... She eventually returned, and as promised hits me up and planned another outing. Now my question is... what should I do? Should I just play it off and act as if i didnt see the photos and see what happens? Should I be straight up and ask? I'm not really looking to get into another relationship, but I would love to see where it goes. What are your thoughts?
 

Thelonius

Active Member
Aug 8, 2008
2,692
what, you're surprised you have competition? that's how it works dude. you guys are just hanging out, i wouldn't go at her with any pointed questions.
 

Thelonius

Active Member
Aug 8, 2008
2,692
Don't feel too bad, lots of other animals have to fight to the death. We human males get off easy.
 

Thelonius

Active Member
Aug 8, 2008
2,692
dont bring up the other dude, play it cool and be yourself.

Do you realize you told the guy to be himself and not be himself in this post? Be yourself is the worst advice ever. No one's going to accept all your little flaws, like jealousy for example, right off the bat.
 
TS
TS

Eddie Brock

New Member
Jan 4, 2008
402
New Jersey
Mixed signals are killing me and I hate rejection as we all do. She mentioned people mistake her friendliness for something else all the time and the fact that she has a ton of guy friends makes me think otherwise. Were hanging on Sat so well see how that pans put.
 

Banksy!

New Member
May 3, 2011
184
Don't mention the other guy, but ask her if she's seeing anyone. put it out there that you like her
 

Aquakittie

Active Member
Feb 5, 2007
3,364
Los Angeles, CA
:wavey: Fellow SoCalian here....where'd you go hiking?


Don't bring up the other dude. I agree to asking if she's dating anyone. I'm surprised that didn't come up the first time you hung out. That seems pretty common first hangout conversation. You always gotta cut to the chase with that one because there's no sense wasting anyone's time if people are hooked up already.

What are you guys doing on Saturday? is it an actual date or...?
 
TS
TS

Eddie Brock

New Member
Jan 4, 2008
402
New Jersey
:wavey: Fellow SoCalian here....where'd you go hiking?


Don't bring up the other dude. I agree to asking if she's dating anyone. I'm surprised that didn't come up the first time you hung out. That seems pretty common first hangout conversation. You always gotta cut to the chase with that one because there's no sense wasting anyone's time if people are hooked up already.

What are you guys doing on Saturday? is it an actual date or...?

We went hiking in Eaton Canyon in Pasadena... you should check it out if you haven't. Def going to ask this time around. We'll be hiking in Azusa (10 mi hike) and salsa dancing later on the same night. So I guess its a good sign that shed like to spend her whole day with me.
 

Thelonius

Active Member
Aug 8, 2008
2,692
:wavey: Fellow SoCalian here....where'd you go hiking?


Don't bring up the other dude. I agree to asking if she's dating anyone. I'm surprised that didn't come up the first time you hung out. That seems pretty common first hangout conversation. You always gotta cut to the chase with that one because there's no sense wasting anyone's time if people are hooked up already.

What are you guys doing on Saturday? is it an actual date or...?

Don't you think it's a bit pessimistic to assume it's a waste of his time if she's seeing someone else? Two of my girlfriends were seeing someone else when I first met them. If it's not a serious long term thing, then I don't see the problem.

I personally wouldn't ask someone to detail all their relationships with the opposite sex on the second date but that's me. I believe in keeping it light and fun at first.
 

THoC

Well-Known Member
Feb 5, 2007
7,349
dont bring up the other guy.

escalate ASAP to see how she reacts.
 

Aquakittie

Active Member
Feb 5, 2007
3,364
Los Angeles, CA
Don't you think it's a bit pessimistic to assume it's a waste of his time if she's seeing someone else? Two of my girlfriends were seeing someone else when I first met them. If it's not a serious long term thing, then I don't see the problem.

I personally wouldn't ask someone to detail all their relationships with the opposite sex on the second date but that's me. I believe in keeping it light and fun at first.
:dunno: personal preference I guess. I never make a habit of trying to date someone who's dating others. I'm not in the business of competition. And if I need to compete for someones attention and affections I don't need to be with them. I'm looking for LTR serious status. Not casual dating. But being a single mom, I've never been able to really casual date for the sake of, so I don't even know what that looks like really.

But if the TS wants casual dating then and doesn't mind being one of many she could be dating, then fine, pursue away. She's obviously interested in him so, even if she's casually seeing someone else she could very well be more interested in the TS.

I think pretty much anytime I've been approached (most often by acquaintances or friends of friends not cold approaches) my dating/relationship status gets brought up in the first hour of conversation with that person.

"So, you got a boyfriend or seeing anyone?" It doesn't have to be details of when the last time you fucked someone but its a valid topic that comes up right away.
 

Thelonius

Active Member
Aug 8, 2008
2,692
You're right, it depends on your situation. To me it sounds like he just wants to have some fun and if things develop then they develop.
 

Thelonius

Active Member
Aug 8, 2008
2,692
and the thing is if he asks that question, it's gonna become a whole conversation. It's not just gonna be, Seeing anyone? and then Yes or No. It's gonna be, well I dunno..kind of, there's this guy, blah blah, then his curiosity is gonna get the better of him and he'll ask more questions. Or maybe she just wouldn't tell him. Just don't see the point.
 

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