OT has helped me with these issues many times in the past but it never fails to surprise me with how bad it hurts.
I'm 23 and have been with my 20-year old girlfriend now for 2.5 years (next weekend); and only now do I realize that its slipping away and there's nothing that I can do to save it. We've traveled extensively, spent damn near every single day together, and otherwise shared more or ourselves with one another than I could ever expect to share with another human being. For most people, our relationship is quick to brush off as "kid love" due to our ages, but what's so incredibly hard to explain in writing is how we are both so mature; and how those people are so very, very wrong--this is a real relationship.
Prior to this I was in consecutive 1.5-year relationships that were the epitome of this aforementioned kid love. Party girls, more interested in pretty much anything but me. Neither of them were ever going to last. My current girlfriend had dated a few guys, but none more than nine months. This has been the most amazing, yet heartbreaking experience of my life, and now I'm here, trying my best to figure out how to put the pieces back together for what's sure to shatter in the not too distant future.
She's been pulling away lately. We both sacrificed our friends (who didn't want us to be together) right in the beginning and have always just had each other. Our parents made our relationship abnormally difficult, and we lived 30 miles apart for the first two years. She was much, much more mature than me in the beginning. This is surprising, considering she was only 17 when we first met. In some ways, I feel like we've grown old together already. That the highest highs and the lowest lows have already been covered, and that we're stale, old, dull and dead--crumbling away like a rotten tree.
Earlier this year she moved out of her parent's house. They forced her out. She's a model, a perfect 10, honest to god, and makes a substantial fortune doing various gigs around the metroplex. Moving out, for her, was no problem whatsoever. I had previously lived in my University's dorms for a couple years, but have since returned home while working and finishing up my degree. My new job is a standard M-F 8-5 schedule, and the gross majority of her work is on both weekday and weekend nights. Because of this, we're not able to see each other much at all anymore, and in turn, has got her straying away, making new friends, etc.
And that's just the thing... she's not cheating. I trust the girl, and I know that she doesn't have feelings for anyone else. However, I more or less get the feeling that that's only because she hasn't MET the someone else yet, not necessarily because she's shut off from doing so.
On top of that, people seem to consistently want to get inbetween us. Its the nature of her work, I know, but its turned into an almost weekly event, where some asshat will message me on Facebook, or somehow acquire my phone number, or communicate with me in some other means only to try and belittle me, accuse her of wrongdoings, and otherwise get between us. And no, I'm not lying to myself when I say that these people are ALWAYS full of shit. But that, coupled with seeing her less and less, watching her drift away, is spiraling me into depression.
Because here's my thoughts: I have no close friends anymore. Even those that I do keep in contact with, I'd never want to live with. My girlfriend and I had been looking at places to move in to together over the past couple months for when her lease runs up (and I have a sufficient amount of money saved up for my share), but lately she's begun to sway into not wanting to live with anyone else, not wanting my stuff to get in the way of her stuff, etc.
So we play a worst-case scenario, and I'm broken up with. Without any close friends, I have no one that I can roommate with. I am a strong introvert (INTJ) and have difficulty making acquaintances with strangers. (Oddly enough, I'm surprisingly good at sales, however.) While my current job would be enough to support living on my own, I can't imagine making the move without anyone by my side, and I see the depression only getting worse when I have no one to interact with all day. (Co-workers, for one reason or another, are entirely out of the question regarding roommates--I'd be MUCH worse off.)
And now I find myself in this dilemma. I get the feeling that I'm about to be single, at age 23, with a job and school and all, but no way out of my parent's house, and no one to turn to for further help.
So that's why I'm on OT I guess. Just rambling.
cliffs: Get the feeling my 2.5-year relationship is about to end despite my wildest attempts to save it. I'm 23 and have no good friends, live at home. Living solo == isolation == depression for me, as does staying at home any longer. Where do I go from here?
I'm 23 and have been with my 20-year old girlfriend now for 2.5 years (next weekend); and only now do I realize that its slipping away and there's nothing that I can do to save it. We've traveled extensively, spent damn near every single day together, and otherwise shared more or ourselves with one another than I could ever expect to share with another human being. For most people, our relationship is quick to brush off as "kid love" due to our ages, but what's so incredibly hard to explain in writing is how we are both so mature; and how those people are so very, very wrong--this is a real relationship.
Prior to this I was in consecutive 1.5-year relationships that were the epitome of this aforementioned kid love. Party girls, more interested in pretty much anything but me. Neither of them were ever going to last. My current girlfriend had dated a few guys, but none more than nine months. This has been the most amazing, yet heartbreaking experience of my life, and now I'm here, trying my best to figure out how to put the pieces back together for what's sure to shatter in the not too distant future.
She's been pulling away lately. We both sacrificed our friends (who didn't want us to be together) right in the beginning and have always just had each other. Our parents made our relationship abnormally difficult, and we lived 30 miles apart for the first two years. She was much, much more mature than me in the beginning. This is surprising, considering she was only 17 when we first met. In some ways, I feel like we've grown old together already. That the highest highs and the lowest lows have already been covered, and that we're stale, old, dull and dead--crumbling away like a rotten tree.
Earlier this year she moved out of her parent's house. They forced her out. She's a model, a perfect 10, honest to god, and makes a substantial fortune doing various gigs around the metroplex. Moving out, for her, was no problem whatsoever. I had previously lived in my University's dorms for a couple years, but have since returned home while working and finishing up my degree. My new job is a standard M-F 8-5 schedule, and the gross majority of her work is on both weekday and weekend nights. Because of this, we're not able to see each other much at all anymore, and in turn, has got her straying away, making new friends, etc.
And that's just the thing... she's not cheating. I trust the girl, and I know that she doesn't have feelings for anyone else. However, I more or less get the feeling that that's only because she hasn't MET the someone else yet, not necessarily because she's shut off from doing so.
On top of that, people seem to consistently want to get inbetween us. Its the nature of her work, I know, but its turned into an almost weekly event, where some asshat will message me on Facebook, or somehow acquire my phone number, or communicate with me in some other means only to try and belittle me, accuse her of wrongdoings, and otherwise get between us. And no, I'm not lying to myself when I say that these people are ALWAYS full of shit. But that, coupled with seeing her less and less, watching her drift away, is spiraling me into depression.
Because here's my thoughts: I have no close friends anymore. Even those that I do keep in contact with, I'd never want to live with. My girlfriend and I had been looking at places to move in to together over the past couple months for when her lease runs up (and I have a sufficient amount of money saved up for my share), but lately she's begun to sway into not wanting to live with anyone else, not wanting my stuff to get in the way of her stuff, etc.
So we play a worst-case scenario, and I'm broken up with. Without any close friends, I have no one that I can roommate with. I am a strong introvert (INTJ) and have difficulty making acquaintances with strangers. (Oddly enough, I'm surprisingly good at sales, however.) While my current job would be enough to support living on my own, I can't imagine making the move without anyone by my side, and I see the depression only getting worse when I have no one to interact with all day. (Co-workers, for one reason or another, are entirely out of the question regarding roommates--I'd be MUCH worse off.)
And now I find myself in this dilemma. I get the feeling that I'm about to be single, at age 23, with a job and school and all, but no way out of my parent's house, and no one to turn to for further help.
So that's why I'm on OT I guess. Just rambling.
cliffs: Get the feeling my 2.5-year relationship is about to end despite my wildest attempts to save it. I'm 23 and have no good friends, live at home. Living solo == isolation == depression for me, as does staying at home any longer. Where do I go from here?
