So... I thought I'd write a quick post about the vaginarium effects of army basic training on a girl ("female soldier"). At least in my experience. 10 weeks of being treated like a completely unisexual soldier took a real toll on me. I came to basic training with a boyfriend and a lot of confidence and I left with a pretty muddled sexual identity (no not in a homo/bisexual/bicurious way). I don't know if it was stress or all the PT or marching miles and miles with a ruck sack but for some reason I haven't had a period since the day I was issued my uniform (beginning of May). My hormones have pretty much shut down and I'm still waiting for them to kick back up! I went from being a pretty sexually active person to having absolutely no desire for any kind of touching (myself or others). I can honestly say that sex didn't cross my mind during the entire BCT. During training my boyfriend continued to write me and send me packages. I talked to him twice since I was only allowed on the phone 4 times and twice I called my parents. He seemed upbeat about being so far apart and game for coming to graduation. When he got there to see me I tried to fake enthusiasm but the stress of basic had really taken its toll on me and I just wasn't feeling lovey at all. I didn't want to hold hands let alone kiss or fuck. I can understand his frustration with this (10 weeks is a long time for someone to wait and then not get any I guess), but I really could make no excuses for myself.... I was in such a funk. For the next 4 days he didn't talk to me (didn't answer his phone) until I got a facebook message saying I should have my parents come pick up what I left over at his house. So I went 10 weeks without getting a dear jane letter only to get one 3 days into AIT school. Great. I'm really not even that upset about it, really. It's kind of a relief because now I am truly the only person I need to worry about right now. I am upset about my general attitude right now though. Basic Training is supposed to instill 'confidence' and assuredness.... I feel 10x's less confident now than I did before. I was always last at basic training in almost everthing I did. They never had my size in any of the equipment and I was always smallest and slowest (45 lb rucks are heavier on a person 5'3" and 100 lbs than on a 6'2" male). I'm trying to relearn how to feel capable and beautiful but all I see when I look in the mirror is a rough looking soldier with not enough sleep and baggy camo clothes. I've tried talking to some of the other girls here and they all said that they had no problems getting back into feeling girly and sexy... I'm wondering if this is something that just happens to some people and how I should try getting over it... will it just take time? Anyone have any suggestions?