We tried the friends thing too soon and it blew up in our face. I was sick of her mind games. I hate that girls want to get over you, but don't want you to get over them. She would get mad and annoyed if I talked about us as a couple, then she would text me in the middle of the night saying she missed me. She wouldn't hesitate to call if she needed something (most recently emotional support because of an unrelated matter), but she would ignore my calls and not return them. I forget who said it here, but I took his advice and I made sure she never wants to see or talk to me again. I told her if she sees me on the street, walk to the other side. If she sees me on the subway, get off. I was rash, overdramatic, and harsh, but something drastic had to be done. I haven't been myself for too long. I've never been an emotional person and for the past two months I've been afraid that at any given moment if I reached my hand down my pants, I would find the vagina that had replaced my wiener. It's kind of a feeling. Part of me feels relief. The other part wants to throw up, call her, and tell her how sorry I am for making her cry one last time. I've dated a lot before, but nothing serious, at least not to me anyway. Maybe it was the college lifestyle that had me moving from one thing to the next. She was the first girl I ever really fell for. And I fell hard. Is it normal to be extra hung up on your first real love? I feel like I should be ok by now. I go about my day just fine, but I still lay awake sometimes thinking about her. I feel like I shouldn't by now.