After lurking on here off and on for a few years, reading the stories of others and occasionally venting my own, I finally worked up the courage to make an appointment and started talking to a psychologist a few weeks ago through my college's counseling center. I've tried changing my life around in order to feel better on my own, including losing a lot of weight in the last two years (down 60ish pounds so far), going back to school full-time this fall to finish a degree in something I kinda like this time, got a new job that I actually don't hate and even almost like some days (even if the pay is craptacular), finally got my motorcycle license and a bike (a goal I've had for about 8 years), and got a dog, but none of it felt like it was making me feel better, beyond being able to go up a few flights of steps without losing my breath and seeing an animal be waaay too excited to see me when I get home. I have my 4th meeting with her on Monday, so far so good. Its so weird having someone who waits for me to talk and listens. Its also weird to start tunneling into the mess that's in my head with another person's perspective.