So, I've thought about making a post in here many times over the last year or two - all for more 'serious' issues that I've been able to overlook or suck-up. I guess becuase this is not so 'end of the world' it's easier to finally do. So... My wife refuses to change her lifestyle / attempt to make me happy. The main issue with this now (and I suppose has been for awhile) is her weight. When we got married she was 5'5, 135lbs. To me, this is a fine size - she was very attractive. Now, shes still 5'5 and pushing 175-185. She complains about this less frequently than before (almost if as she is just accepting it). She is constantly asked if she is pregnant by strangers and friends (shes not). She asks me all the time to buy her more and more; larger and larger clothes as she continues to grow out of the old clothes. (Which were bought once she grew too big for the things she wore when we were married). She refuses to count calories, exercise, or eat responsibly. I invite her to the gym with me frequently (I go 3-5 times a week). I've expressed in very clear, rational discussions how much it bothers me, but that I still love her. It's hard becuase I can't help but think...this isn't the person I signed up with. She changed in a big way. I didn't. I feel almost cheated that my attractive wife has been replaced with someone I would never try to be romantic with. She frequently responds by saying how much she would like to change and look like she used too. She recently told me I was making her feel bad by my actions - IE: I've begun to avoid sex becuase she is not very attractive to me anymore. I grab her rolls of fat subconsciously until she glares at me. So - I've stoped this. I backed way off the last few weeks...and nothing has changed. Just now - I was very hungry and wanted to spend some time having lunch with her (as we both work alot), and suggested we go to the gym after. We were talking about going to Pizza Hut. She said she did not want to do anything but eat and come home to sleep (at 1pm). At this point, I was literally unable to go out to eat with her. I didn't get mad - but I couldn't stop thinking of her shoveling in 1500+ cals of pizza, pasta and bread, and then waking up in the morning just a little bit fatter. So now I'm here...with only an hour to eat lunch, and work out before I need to be in my office to finish some work. I let her drag me down and away from the things I know I need to do for myself. I don't know what to do if she won't change, or even honestly try to change (aside from pay me BS lipservice). I don't want to leave her. She's a great girl, and I do love her - this just hurts me alot, and it's starting to spill over in other parts of our relatioship. I'm sure the topic seems shallow - and I agree that it is. However - I've learned that sex and physical attraction are an important part of a successfull relationship. I'm loosing whats left of both of them - very fast. It hurts when I clearly express what I need from her - and she ignores it. I suspect it's almost as much of an emotional issue for me as a physical one. Any comments you guys have, I'd like to hear. Thanks alot for your time. Cliffs: Married hottie. She got fat. She won't get skinny again. I'm depressed.