I keep getting frustrated with recovery. I keep getting torn bewtween doing it on my own and going to meetings. I just moved and started checking out some meetings in the area and they all fucking bum me out! The ones I had been hitting up where i used to live weren't bad at all, once I found ones I was comfortable with. But so far, where I am now, It is just the pits. Also, I hate going to meetings and hearing about dudes that go out after like 10 or 16 years of recovery! WTF? WHy the hell would anyone do that? It makes me feel that no matter how much work I do on myself or how much progress I make, I am gonna have to be "Mr. AA" and spend all my time with this stuff until I die, which quite frankly, sucks ass. OTOH, I have a few friends who cleaned up either on their own or in rehab and they never go to meetings, and thye are doing better than i am. It's tough this stuff.