my life has been so weird the past month, i feel like i'm upside down and my brain is going to explode. in the past month i got a new job, met a great girl online and we met in real life and everything was looking up, then it went shit. my job was already starting to suck, i could tell that it wasn't for me and then i fucked up really bad with this girl and i don't even know what i'm going to do now. for one thing, she was my first, and it could just be for that reason that i'm taking it so hard that our 'relationship' is in question, for one thing i think we took it way too fast and didn't really let things develop but i got so caught up in it because she was really into me and even made plans to move to my city and i was just so blown away that i got wreckless, now i feel like something really good was ruined and i don't even know what i'm going to do now. am i just completely fucking stupid or was there actually something there? i'm pretty sure i just had my hopes set too high but i really started to think it was a real thing and not just fucking around on the internet. i don't know, i don't think i'm even really looking for any answers here i'm basically just ranting on the internet but it's all i can think of right now and i feel like if i don't get it off my chest i'm going to explode. i'm pretty sure we can still be friends on the internet but i don't even know if i can handle that after falling for her so hard in person, i feel like the biggest dumbass in the world to be honest. fuck.