Short story: Dated a girl in HS, lasted several years(of misery), dated a few times, mostly met them during drug induced comas @ rave parties, or through friends/online. Met a chick 3 years ago, fell madly in love, planned for the future, lived together for the last two years. I changed and became more responsible, she left me for someone who was more financially stable and still had time to party. I spent the last 6 months picking up the pieces, quit school, closed down my business, and went to work for a great company with good pay (3 times what I was making before I became self employed) and benefits. I decided to go out and have some fun last night, the few friends I have left were all with family, so I went out alone. I checked out the Hard Rock since I had never been there before, found a place with a damn good cover band, downed a shot of JC, and nursed a long island. After 4 songs I lost it. All I could think about was fun it would be if my ex was there. I actually sat there trying to hold back the tears for another 2 songs- thinking it might clear up. It didn't, so I walked back to my car. I picked up a 6 pack on the way back, and laid on the hood getting shit faced and contemplating suicide- it's not as bad as it was 6 months ago, but it still scares the crap out of me. I ended up driving over to a buddy's place and got there just before shit started spinning. I took a few tokes from the bowl and passed out in my car. I realized (for the 5th time) that alcohol and I just don't mix- I hadn't had a drink in over 8 months. And the thing that pisses me off is, it seems like the world is just set up to consume, consume, consume. $20.00 for 2 drinks, and $15 an hour for a pool table rental. Everyone has their own little group, and if you're not part of it, or you can't give them something, then you're not worth speaking to. I'd go for a ride, but the title situation with my bike is still FUBAR- I put it on hold to "be responsible". But I still think- Riding is great, but where will I go? Ride down to SoBe to watch the plastic people? Downtown Ft. Lauderdale to watch the vacationers spend their yearly savings? I used to have a great sense of humor, I was impulsive, witty, and sarcastic. But since I had the rug pulled out from under me, I feel soulless. As long as I'm at work, I'm pretty OK, I have things I can focus on to keep my mind somewhat occupied. But I think I really need to go out and meet new people. It's just that the people I see are so fucking fake..... I'm seriously tempted to go pick up a bag of blow, just so I can get that artificial smile to help me blend in.- Something I haven't done in over 5 years. Where are the REAL PEOPLE in south Florida??!! I was ready to move up north, but I got this job offer that I just can't quit right now.