LOVE GF wants me to delete pics of Ex on my computer

[1200mk]

I haven't spoken to the Ex in a year and don't have any feelings for her at all, but my current gf seems to be extremely adamant on wanting me to delete them.

I feel like she is invading my personal space and does not have the right to ask for that.

Thoughts?

 

[Pseudonym]

I would say she has the right to ask. You also have the right to say no.

 

[iwishyouwerebeer]

It's rude of her to demand it. It's none of her business. She's insecure and whether it's all her or you've said things about your ex that made her insecure I do not know...What I do know is you need to communicate they are your pictures, and as long as none of them are like nude pics or sexy pics you have a right to keep them.

 

[04JETTA]

thats a bit rude and invasive

 

[1200mk]

I am willing to get rid of them, that's not the issue. The issue I have is that she is pretty much forcing me to. I don't like anyone forcing me to do anything I don't agree on.

 

[iwishyouwerebeer]

I am willing to get rid of them, that's not the issue. The issue I have is that she is pretty much forcing me to. I don't like anyone forcing me to do anything I don't agree on.

Then tell her that.

 

[1200mk]

Then tell her that.

I have... she doesn't take it well.

 

[iwishyouwerebeer]

I have... she doesn't take it well.

How does she take it?

 

[Deborah]

how are these photos? normal or bikini , nude or in anyway suggestive?
how long have you been dating?

I think the answer to these questions is really important. If the pictures are just some normal pictures and you two are not that serious with each other now then she does not have the right to ask you to do that. But if they are like nude or very sexy pictures I would definitely get irritated and ask you to delete the pics just to see you have no feelings(sexual and emotional) for them and that you respect my wishes.

 

[1200mk]

how are these photos? normal or bikini , nude or in anyway suggestive?
how long have you been dating?

I think the answer to these questions is really important. If the pictures are just some normal pictures and you two are not that serious with each other now then she does not have the right to ask you to do that. But if they are like nude or very sexy pictures I would definitely get irritated and ask you to delete the pics just to see you have no feelings(sexual and emotional) for them and that you respect my wishes.

she hasn't seen any of the pictures... but I would say 90% of them are just random innocent pictures and the other 10% bikini model pictures.

I've been dating her for close to a year.

 

[1200mk]

How does she take it?

she gets upset and leaves saying that I am not taking her seriously.

 

[antihero]

nudes, ok, she has some sort of point.

If any girl tried to make me delete a every snapshot with another women I would flat out refuse and tell her not to bring it up again.

 

[DvBoard]

Not going to work. She demands instead of asks. Might tell her to kiss your ass your going to keep 'em ONLY because she wouldn't ask you nicely. Giving into demands will just promote them to keep demanding...

 

[Deborah]

she hasn't seen any of the pictures... but I would say 90% of them are just random innocent pictures and the other 10% bikini model pictures.

I've been dating her for close to a year.

hmm, well, I dunno, I would ask you to delete the bikini pics probably, but then maybe it is because I am insecure.

how would you feel if she had pics of her exes, rather suggestive ones?

 

[teep]

why are you keeping them?

exes are people that were once very important. why delete memories unless it's something bad?

 

[MattThom01]

I would say, they are your pics on your computer. As long as they aren't interfering with your daily life or your relationship (ie masturbating to them nightly instead of sleeping with her), she has no real right to FORCE you to delete them.

As far as how to handle the issue...just drop it. It's your computer..she's not looking through it without permission, correct.

Don't do anything. You are your own person, not her person. I mean, really, what's she going to do?

EDIT: I'm referring to non-sexual pics. If you have nudes of an ex, that is a bit disrespectful, but other stuff is fine,

 

[antihero]

Delete the pictures. You have moved on and should have no reason to keep them.

just because you have moved on, why should you have to forget?

you never had any times worth remembering with an ex? I feel bad for you then. Anyone who can't see why you would ever want a picture that has an ex in it is likely the one that needs to "move on". Those of us that have moved on can see that it might be a picture of a good time that happened, that while the relationship didnt work out, is a good memory that can be cherished like any other memory of people who aren't in your life anymore.

 

[Math-E]

say "fine, you delete them yourself because you're a bitch"

 

[213]

grow up and delete them.

 

[Ideotique]

Fuck, I'm still friends with a couple of my ex's.

What would that psycho possessive bitch say about that?

 

[antihero]

Out of curiousity, is there anyone who thinks you should delete innocent fully clothed pictures of an ex, that does not consider themselves very insecure and/or very jealous?

 

[Ideotique]

If the main reason people in here are saying she's being rude about it is because they're "memories", well, you can remember the times with the ex without photos. If she's actually demanding you delete them, okay, that's a little fucked up. But I see no reason to keep pictures around of ex's.

I don't keep pictures of many things because I'm not a picture person

However, I have pictures of me and an ex I'm still on good terms with at things like a friends leaving party - me, her, and bunch of friends some of whom have moved away. To demand to delete them is pretty controlling.

Nudes etc yeah, a fair point. But things like that? That's insecurity.

 

[Ideotique]

I agree that if the girlfriend is demanding then there's an issue. But it's a sign of respect in my eyes. If you respect your current s/o, why keep around shit like that, that will inevitably come up and be an awkward moment? I just prefer to live in the present with the here and the now, not dwell on the past or rehash it. Obviously there was something good about the times in the past, but if you're in a committed relationship, there's also something good going on now. Most people can sit here and say they don't mind etc, but gun to the head if you're browsing around your s/o's computer and you come upon a folder with the name of their ex partner, you're going to have a twinge of displeasure to say the least.

But that's what I'm saying - we don't know what these pics are.

If it's pics like the ones I have kept it is more because it shows a bunch of friends together for the last time. Real sentimental value - some of them I've known since I was 4 and will not see again in all liklihood

If a gf demanded that I delete that picture because it included an ex then I would refuse. Not because it showed the ex, but because it showed a bunch of friends.

 

[antihero]

I agree that if the girlfriend is demanding then there's an issue. But it's a sign of respect in my eyes. If you respect your current s/o, why keep around shit like that, that will inevitably come up and be an awkward moment? I just prefer to live in the present with the here and the now, not dwell on the past or rehash it. Obviously there was something good about the times in the past, but if you're in a committed relationship, there's also something good going on now. Most people can sit here and say they don't mind etc, but gun to the head if you're browsing around your s/o's computer and you come upon a folder with the name of their ex partner, you're going to have a twinge of displeasure to say the least.

dead serious question: why? I can't come up with any reason why I would care if I didn't have anything personally against the guy.

 

[Ideotique]

You're obviously one of the people in here that don't fit into my "Most" term. I think it's natural to be taken aback if you've been with someone for a while and then randomly come upon random pictures of your current s/o with their ex. Obviously it's part of the past, and pictures have no bearing on the present, but it still would strike me as odd. Displeasure might of been the wrong word though

It depends how you come across them as well

If they at the back of a cupboard in a shrine and loveheart frame, then there are going to be issues.

If they are simply tossed into a draw with countless other bits of unused crap then what's the big drama?

*insert similar analogy for computer files*