SRS Girlfriend hates condoms

[UCFGavin]

So my girlfriend and I have been going out for almost two months now and have done everything but have sex. I'm still a virgin and shes cool with that and doesn't pressure me at all. She hasn't had a boyfriend in over a year and just recently decided to go back on birth control (for me). we've had the discussion about condoms and birth control and she really really dislikes them. basically she gave me a month of her being back on it before this will probably come back up again.

I ordered a big variety pack of condoms on condomdepot.com to see if maybe there are a few that she is ok with. Its not that I'm worried about her trying to get preggo, but I'm one of those "take no chances" kinda people when it comes to shit like this.

what does OT think? I'm a bit nervous about the situation, even though I know birth control is still 99.99999 whatever percent.

 

[Pen Is Mightier]

Why does she dislike condoms? That is kind of odd. Normally it's the guy that doesn't want to use them...

 

[UCFGavin]

Why does she dislike condoms? That is kind of odd. Normally it's the guy that doesn't want to use them...

she says the feeling and sensation isn't the same. i can't really argue with her considering i don't know

 

[Dahlia]

If she is on bc, why do you feel the need to use condoms? You say you trust her and everything, then I'm sure she is taking them right and you will be fine. Personally, if I went on BC for guy AND he wore condoms as well, I would stop taking the BC, because there is really no point in taking it anymore.

And yes, I agree that the two sensations, with and without condoms, are totally different.

 

[runawaycamel]

I just experienced condomless sex for the first time like...a week ago. It does feel a lot better (I'm a girl).
But I do know where you're coming from with the preggers paranoia. I think over time the fear goes away (which can be good and bad). She should let you just use the condoms for awhile and I think that eventually you'll get curious to know what it's like without them ;-)

 

[iwishyouwerebeer]

I think it's a horrible idea. Has your gf ever been tested? If she hates condoms so much that means she's had condomless sex before you and could have at least HPV if not other STD's that don't have visible repercussions.

Not to mention you've only been dating 2 months! I'm sure you want to say you know her so well and she's not the kind of girl to fuck up her BC but what if she does slip up and mess with her pill schedule? What happens if in 4 months of dating she gets pregnant? What are her thoughts on abortion?

These are important things to consider.

 

[UCFGavin]

I think it's a horrible idea. Has your gf ever been tested? If she hates condoms so much that means she's had condomless sex before you and could have at least HPV if not other STD's that don't have visible repercussions.

Not to mention you've only been dating 2 months! I'm sure you want to say you know her so well and she's not the kind of girl to fuck up her BC but what if she does slip up and mess with her pill schedule? What happens if in 4 months of dating she gets pregnant? What are her thoughts on abortion?

These are important things to consider.

you're right, all those thoughts have crossed my mind. i have no intentions of going into this blindly. i'm personally pro-life and would not have an abortion....hence why the paranoia about the situation.

 

[UCFGavin]

If she is on bc, why do you feel the need to use condoms? You say you trust her and everything, then I'm sure she is taking them right and you will be fine. Personally, if I went on BC for guy AND he wore condoms as well, I would stop taking the BC, because there is really no point in taking it anymore.

And yes, I agree that the two sensations, with and without condoms, are totally different.

thats what she pretty much said, if i want to use condoms she would go off BC. i think her decision to go on it was so that i wouldn't have to use them. i just want to make sure that i'm covering all my bases going into the situation and can address all of my concerns with her.

 

[UCFGavin]

I just experienced condomless sex for the first time like...a week ago. It does feel a lot better (I'm a girl).
But I do know where you're coming from with the preggers paranoia. I think over time the fear goes away (which can be good and bad). She should let you just use the condoms for awhile and I think that eventually you'll get curious to know what it's like without them ;-)

she would give me as much time as i wanted to make sure that i was safe and comfortable with it. and of course the only sure thing is no sex at all...but if need be, i'll take two 99.999%

 

[polishillusion]

your girlfriend must LOVE babies.

lots of forms of birth control which does not include condoms, pills, nuva ring etc etc.

 

[METALLlC BLUE]

Welcome to my world. I hate condoms, yet I'll be forced to use one for as long as I'm ill (which who knows how long that could be) -- sexually transmitted FTL.

Could it get any worse?

 

[UCFGavin]

eeeeek! She wants you to plug her up with baby!

Haha. At least by her lack of logic, that's how it seems.

Yuck. Avoid her poon at all costs if she forbids the rubbers.

she isn't forbidding it, shes going back on birth control so i wouldn't have to use a condom. she said if i wanted to use a rubber, she would just stop taking BC

 

[UCFGavin]

Welcome to my world. I hate condoms, yet I'll be forced to use one for as long as I'm ill (which who knows how long that could be) -- sexually transmitted FTL.

Could it get any worse?

damn MB, that sucks buddy

 

[ZSPTurbo]

This sounds like a girl saying "I want a PERFECT body" so she consciously decides to become anorexic.

Go get tested together. If shes clean, then its not her who lacks logic, it's you. She is being perfectly reasonable and mature. You seem to be paranoid for no real good reason. You're searching for a reason not to do it. Saying you are a "take no chances" kind of person sounds like a cop out to me.

Look, condoms are pushed by pop culture because most idiots in this world need to be scared into using condoms. But the truth is, they're not a requirement for everyone. If you are in a committed relationship, she's on birth control, and you're both clean, then why the fuck are you so scared of the pussy? Seriously, ask yourself - and don't just accept any answer you come up with, examine it and give this choice it's due diligence. Try to find holes in your own argument as much as you try to justify it.

If you're scared that she might slip up and get pregnant, think about the real odds of that. First she would have to slip up on the pill. Then she has to not notice the extra pill in her little case. Then she has to be ovulating (which doesn't just magically happen the day after she misses). On top of all that, you have to cum inside her (you should be pulling out regardless of the birth control). And the biggest hurdle of all, after all that, a sperm has to successfully reach the egg - consider that most couples who TRY to get pregnant it takes them a LOT of tries. Some couples take 6 months to do it! Seriously, think about how many stars would need to align for you to get her preggers. You're sacrificing a LOT you wont really get anything out of it.
Plus if she's been around the block once or twice, theres a good chance that she'll tell you shes totally OK with it, but in fact will not be - she's seen what other guys are like. You might not be the man in the relationship any more.
And if she turns out the be the kind of person who would do this on purpose - well there's nothing that can help you there except your own ability to judge character.




And also, once you experience the difference between strapped sex and un-strapped... you'll look back at this post and laugh till you cry.

 

[Midgetized]

she isn't forbidding it, shes going back on birth control so i wouldn't have to use a condom. she said if i wanted to use a rubber, she would just stop taking BC

As long as she's been tested and is clean then you're better off with the BC since you are a lot more likely to knock her up with a condom. Although that also depends on what kind she is on. With the pill you have to depend on her taking it the right way, with other methods it's not as easy for her to mess up. I understand her not wanting to do both condoms and BC also. Sex with a condom never feels as good as it does without and it's not worth going through the potential hell that BC can bring if you still have to use condoms too (this only applies since you're in a relationship).

 

[UCFGavin]

This sounds like a girl saying "I want a PERFECT body" so she consciously decides to become anorexic.

Go get tested together. If shes clean, then its not her who lacks logic, it's you. She is being perfectly reasonable and mature. You seem to be paranoid for no real good reason. You're searching for a reason not to do it. Saying you are a "take no chances" kind of person sounds like a cop out to me.

Look, condoms are pushed by pop culture because most idiots in this world need to be scared into using condoms. But the truth is, they're not a requirement for everyone. If you are in a committed relationship, she's on birth control, and you're both clean, then why the fuck are you so scared of the pussy? Seriously, ask yourself - and don't just accept any answer you come up with, examine it and give this choice it's due diligence. Try to find holes in your own argument as much as you try to justify it.

If you're scared that she might slip up and get pregnant, think about the real odds of that. First she would have to slip up on the pill. Then she has to not notice the extra pill in her little case. Then she has to be ovulating (which doesn't just magically happen the day after she misses). On top of all that, you have to cum inside her (you should be pulling out regardless of the birth control). And the biggest hurdle of all, after all that, a sperm has to successfully reach the egg - consider that most couples who TRY to get pregnant it takes them a LOT of tries. Some couples take 6 months to do it! Seriously, think about how many stars would need to align for you to get her preggers. You're sacrificing a LOT you wont really get anything out of it.
Plus if she's been around the block once or twice, theres a good chance that she'll tell you shes totally OK with it, but in fact will not be - she's seen what other guys are like. You might not be the man in the relationship any more.
And if she turns out the be the kind of person who would do this on purpose - well there's nothing that can help you there except your own ability to judge character.




And also, once you experience the difference between strapped sex and un-strapped... you'll look back at this post and laugh till you cry.

i've never been in a position like this before...as said, i am a virgin. i posted it here because i'm trying to weigh all of my options and make sure i'm making the best decision for myself.

and believe me, i want to make sure she is happy and comfortable with me as much as i am the other way around. i just have this fear of the surprise baby, because my cousin was a birth control baby, so it kinda hits close to home.

i just didn't know what kind of chances i'm taking going into this situation. thank you for the input though, this thread has been very beneficial for advice from both sides of the table

 

[UCFGavin]

As long as she's been tested and is clean then you're better off with the BC since you are a lot more likely to knock her up with a condom. Although that also depends on what kind she is on. With the pill you have to depend on her taking it the right way, with other methods it's not as easy for her to mess up. I understand her not wanting to do both condoms and BC also. Sex with a condom never feels as good as it does without and it's not worth going through the potential hell that BC can bring if you still have to use condoms too (this only applies since you're in a relationship).

whats the best way of going about asking if shes been tested? seems kinda rude

shes on the pill, i went to the pharmacy with her to pick them up. and i trust her. she was off the pill for a while and is going back on them for me so that i wouldn't have to use a condom. i'm just paranoid i guess

 

[Midgetized]

If your only concern is a surprise baby then this is all you need to know...

Each year, 2 out of 100 women whose partners use condoms will become pregnant if they always use condoms correctly.
Each year, 15 out of 100 women whose partners use condoms will become pregnant if they don't always use condoms correctly.

Less than 1 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they always take the pill each day as directed.
About 8 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they don’t always take the pill each day as directed.

from plannedparenthood.org

 

[Midgetized]

whats the best way of going about asking if shes been tested? seems kinda rude

shes on the pill, i went to the pharmacy with her to pick them up. and i trust her. she was off the pill for a while and is going back on them for me so that i wouldn't have to use a condom. i'm just paranoid i guess

Nah it's not rude, I think most people expect to be asked that before they sleep with someone. Next time the sex/condoms/BC topic comes up just mention that before you sleep together you would like for you both to go get tested. Or you could just ask when the last time she was tested was and if she's had any sexual activity with anyone since then.

With the pill you might want to try to have her take it at a time when you are usually around her so you can both make sure she remembers. When it comes to remembering to take it, it's not about trust, it's just that we're all human and it's easy to forget something or get distracted by something else.

She could also try looking into other methods of BC like the ring, patch, or implant. Those don't need to be taken everyday so there is less of a chance for an accident to happen.

 

[UCFGavin]

If your only concern is a surprise baby then this is all you need to know...

Each year, 2 out of 100 women whose partners use condoms will become pregnant if they always use condoms correctly.
Each year, 15 out of 100 women whose partners use condoms will become pregnant if they don't always use condoms correctly.

Less than 1 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they always take the pill each day as directed.
About 8 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they don’t always take the pill each day as directed.

from plannedparenthood.org

well it definitely seems as though we're taking the best possible route in terms of avoiding preggo.

fuck, i just seem to have horrible luck in everything i do and i guess the fear is just there. i probably need to man up and not be such a pussy.

 

[UCFGavin]

Nah it's not rude, I think most people expect to be asked that before they sleep with someone. Next time the sex/condoms/BC topic comes up just mention that before you sleep together you would like for you both to go get tested. Or you could just ask when the last time she was tested was and if she's had any sexual activity with anyone since then.

With the pill you might want to try to have her take it at a time when you are usually around her so you can both make sure she remembers. When it comes to remembering to take it, it's not about trust, it's just that we're all human and it's easy to forget something or get distracted by something else.

She could also try looking into other methods of BC like the ring, patch, or implant. Those don't need to be taken everyday so there is less of a chance for an accident to happen.

yeah, thats a good idea about the pill, i'll see what she says.

are the other methods similar in protection, just less room for error because its not something that you have to remember regularly?

 

[djshotglass]

i'm personally pro-life

I was gonna say dont worry about it but now I say wrap it up we don't need any more of you morons

 

[UCFGavin]

I was gonna say dont worry about it but now I say wrap it up we don't need any more of you morons

well i've decided that i don't give two shits what other people decide to do, thats just the decision i've made for myself if you wanna go have 100 abortions with whoever, thats your own choice

 

[7960]

If she is on bc, why do you feel the need to use condoms?

YOU take responsibility for YOUR seed.

If you depend on her then it's up to her when she gets pregnant.

 

[iwishyouwerebeer]

whats the best way of going about asking if shes been tested? seems kinda rude

shes on the pill, i went to the pharmacy with her to pick them up. and i trust her. she was off the pill for a while and is going back on them for me so that i wouldn't have to use a condom. i'm just paranoid i guess

I really don't think you should be nervous about asking if she's been tested. This is a mature matter. When you bring up how she's just going on BC you just say "have you been tested?" If she gets offended she's just immature. Anyone who has had condemless sex should get tested.