LOVE Girlfriend is too self concious.. thinks she's fat

techno-Zen

Active Member
Dec 26, 2010
10,898
Ok, I am in my first true relationship.. To me this is a learning process. A month back my girlfriend mentioned she was getting a gym membership. she did this on her own and in the process my words of support turned into "You think i'm fat" :ugh: - I gave her support in living a healthy lifestyle, because I know when I go to the gym once or twice a week I feel great after. She has been stressed from grad school and may have gained a little weight but to me, she is perfect. What the hell do I do? It's like it doesn't matter what I say. Her stupid fucking friends and sister keep telling her that I think she's fat which is bullshit!

What do I doooooooo???? Why do women create this shit for themselves when their BF's really don't give a shit?
 

THoC

Well-Known Member
Feb 5, 2007
7,349
"I gave her support in living a health lifestyle"

how exactly did you word it?
 
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techno-Zen

techno-Zen

Active Member
Dec 26, 2010
10,898
"I gave her support in living a health lifestyle"

how exactly did you word it?

It was a month ago so I don't remember exactly.. but more or less that I was proud of her. It's too late to change that but how to I escape this chasm of guilt?
 

THoC

Well-Known Member
Feb 5, 2007
7,349
It was a month ago so I don't remember exactly.. but more or less that I was proud of her. It's too late to change that but how to I escape this chasm of guilt?

if you worded it that way than its her own fault for taking it out on you w. this "you think im fat" BS.

nothing for you to "escape" from or feel guilty about. simply tell her that you dont think that and that she needs to quit w. the guilt trip crap.
 
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techno-Zen

techno-Zen

Active Member
Dec 26, 2010
10,898
I know I didn't do anything wrong.. I'm turnign the guilt trip onto her a bit. Telling her how I feel like the worlds worst boyfriend :(

We'll see how it goes. I love this girl and if she gained 50 lbs I really wouldn't care.
 

D7

OT Supporter
Dec 20, 2008
6,406
...She has been stressed from grad school and may have gained a little weight but to me, she is perfect. What the hell do I do? It's like it doesn't matter what I say.

That's the perfect thing to tell her ... so tell her that. Reassure her that you're attracted to her exactly how she is.

Her stupid fucking friends and sister keep telling her that I think she's fat which is bullshit!

Ignore this entirely. You can't win that any way you spin it.

What do I doooooooo???

Just verbally reassure her. Throw in some hugs and kisses while you're doing it. Make it really mushy. Also just tell her you really like to see her naked, how good she looks naked, etc.

Why do women create this shit for themselves when their BF's really don't give a shit?

A lot of men do care. Some men dump their gfs or wives because of weight gain. Women don't create this shit by themselves.
 

antihero

OT Supporter
Aug 19, 2002
15,294
NYC
Don't EVER let away with a woman tell you what you think or feel. trust me. Just stop her dead in her tracks on that one.

Apologize for making her feel bad, assure her that it was not intentional, clarify that you do not think that, and then you have to actually resist letting her draw you in.
 

Midgetized

Don't mess with Douche Cat
May 29, 2000
49,721
San Diego, CA
I know I didn't do anything wrong.. I'm turnign the guilt trip onto her a bit. Telling her how I feel like the worlds worst boyfriend :(

We'll see how it goes. I love this girl and if she gained 50 lbs I really wouldn't care.

Stop acting like such a pussy. She's still giving you the guilt trip because you are letting her. Trying to turn it around on her does not make you look good and she's not going to respect you if you start acting like that. One of you needs to act like an adult here. Sit her down and tell her that you were not calling her fat, you love her the way she is and you'd still love her if she gained weight. Then tell her that this guilt trip thing needs to end now, you can't enjoy being in a relationship with her if she is going to keep treating you like that.

Part of being a good boyfriend is not letting her get away with stuff like this. You need to be the man and put your foot down. Show her that you won't stand for being treated like that. Being upset for a day is one thing but still whining about this for a month is just ridiculous.
 

antihero

OT Supporter
Aug 19, 2002
15,294
NYC
Part of being a good boyfriend is not letting her get away with stuff like this. You need to be the man and put your foot down. Show her that you won't stand for being treated like that. Being upset for a day is one thing but still whining about this for a month is just ridiculous.



:bigthumb:

needs to get archived so we can link to in the future.
 
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techno-Zen

techno-Zen

Active Member
Dec 26, 2010
10,898
Jesus christ.. No wonder she didn't want to have fun yesterday. She was on her rag.. just fucking tell me next time!! don't bring up this guilt trip nonsense!

Tough being a guy..
 

m45

Well-Known Member
May 2, 2005
111,482
What am i asking is, why is it a dreadful sin to think your girlfriend is getting fat?

If i thought she was and she asked me id say yes :dunno:
 

ForgottenSpiral

Hope and Irony
OT Supporter
Feb 2, 2004
23,336
NoVA
Someone should invent a dating preparedness kit. It would have a kama sutra guide, a flare gun, some duct tape, a shovel, and instructions on how and when to use each. Hint: Use the duct tape now, but get the shovel ready.
 

Dahlia

Active Member
Feb 12, 2008
27,405
Lexington, KY
Jesus christ.. No wonder she didn't want to have fun yesterday. She was on her rag.. just fucking tell me next time!! don't bring up this guilt trip nonsense!

Tough being a guy..
:hsugh: You also shouldn't let that be an excuse...... I don't use that as a free pass to be a total bitch.
 

f00l

Well-Known Member
Jun 14, 2004
28,771
Stop acting like such a pussy. She's still giving you the guilt trip because you are letting her. Trying to turn it around on her does not make you look good and she's not going to respect you if you start acting like that. One of you needs to act like an adult here. Sit her down and tell her that you were not calling her fat, you love her the way she is and you'd still love her if she gained weight. Then tell her that this guilt trip thing needs to end now, you can't enjoy being in a relationship with her if she is going to keep treating you like that.

Part of being a good boyfriend is not letting her get away with stuff like this. You need to be the man and put your foot down. Show her that you won't stand for being treated like that. Being upset for a day is one thing but still whining about this for a month is just ridiculous.
one of the best OP here :bigthumb:

always keeping it real with advise:o
 

Alease

New Member
Jan 22, 2011
32
Sounds like a good time to sit down for a serious chat with your girlfriend. Tell her that you are worried about the direction that your relationship has taken since the gym membership initiative. Stress that you are happy with her physical attractiveness and admire her desire to be healthy. However, make it clear that you are upset with your support being misconstrued for criticism and/or discontent with her looks. It is perfectly okay to also tell her that the resulting attitude toward you from her sister and friends seems unfair and puts you into a highly uncomfortable position.

The truth may be that your girlfriend may have decided to join the gym after receiving some signals from you that made her think that you are not attracted to her. Sometimes women pass ideas off as their own out of embarrassment. Her girlfriends'/sister's attitudes were probably influenced by information that she shares with them. Hence getting upset with other women in her life will not get you anywhere. Instead, focus on facts and avoid blaming.
 
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Abomb

New Member
Feb 22, 2005
20,310
Houston, TX
Jesus christ.. No wonder she didn't want to have fun yesterday. She was on her rag.. just fucking tell me next time!! don't bring up this guilt trip nonsense!

Tough being a guy..


what lol? :rofl:

its actually pretty easy being a guy..lets consider the reasons..

1. we dont bleed out of our vaginas once a month
2. we dont squeeze water melons out of our vaginas
3. we dont get crazy hormonal and emotional (usually)
4. we use logic to dictate our actions instead of emotions
5. we dont have to carry devil spawns inside our bodies
6. we are stronger
7. we are faster
8. on average we get paid more than women

i dunno man, sounds pretty easy being a guy :dunno:
 
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techno-Zen

techno-Zen

Active Member
Dec 26, 2010
10,898
what lol? :rofl:

its actually pretty easy being a guy..lets consider the reasons..

1. we dont bleed out of our vaginas once a month
2. we dont squeeze water melons out of our vaginas
3. we dont get crazy hormonal and emotional (usually)
4. we use logic to dictate our actions instead of emotions
5. we dont have to carry devil spawns inside our bodies
6. we are stronger
7. we are faster
8. on average we get paid more than women

i dunno man, sounds pretty easy being a guy :dunno:

Feels good man..
 

MissKitty

If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum'
OT Supporter
Jun 21, 2004
53,358
Dingoland
thats a bs excuse for poor behavior.
As a woman I fully agree with you on this one.
Having her period and/or being hormonal sucks for a woman and can make you hate everything, but when you're a grown woman you should be aware of your cycle and your cunt-o-meter and get some awareness
 

Buttman and Throbbin

Active Member
Aug 6, 2006
6,440
Hogwarts
my girlfriend is the same.. constantly thinks shes fat but i love how she looks :drool:

perfectly curved not to skinny and definitely not fat doesnt listen to a single word i say :squint:
 

Buttman and Throbbin

Active Member
Aug 6, 2006
6,440
Hogwarts
what lol? :rofl:

its actually pretty easy being a guy..lets consider the reasons..

1. we dont bleed out of our vaginas once a month
2. we dont squeeze water melons out of our vaginas
3. we dont get crazy hormonal and emotional (usually)
4. we use logic to dictate our actions instead of emotions
5. we dont have to carry devil spawns inside our bodies
6. we are stronger
7. we are faster
8. on average we get paid more than women

i dunno man, sounds pretty easy being a guy :dunno:

:werd:
 

Viper

Livin' la vida scrotum
Sep 22, 2004
76,571
In a van down by the river
Stop acting like such a pussy. She's still giving you the guilt trip because you are letting her. Trying to turn it around on her does not make you look good and she's not going to respect you if you start acting like that. One of you needs to act like an adult here. Sit her down and tell her that you were not calling her fat, you love her the way she is and you'd still love her if she gained weight. Then tell her that this guilt trip thing needs to end now, you can't enjoy being in a relationship with her if she is going to keep treating you like that.

Part of being a good boyfriend is not letting her get away with stuff like this. You need to be the man and put your foot down. Show her that you won't stand for being treated like that. Being upset for a day is one thing but still whining about this for a month is just ridiculous.
Come back to the east coast and marry me (and bring butt sex with you).
 

D7

OT Supporter
Dec 20, 2008
6,406
what lol? :rofl:

its actually pretty easy being a guy..lets consider the reasons..

1. we dont bleed out of our vaginas once a month
2. we dont squeeze water melons out of our vaginas
3. we dont get crazy hormonal and emotional (usually)
4. we use logic to dictate our actions instead of emotions
5. we dont have to carry devil spawns inside our bodies
6. we are stronger
7. we are faster
8. on average we get paid more than women

i dunno man, sounds pretty easy being a guy :dunno:

4. That's called using more of the human brain :p

8. :fawk::rofl:
 

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